


another banner year, another inch or two that you've grown

by cashewdani



Category: Disney RPF
Genre: Birthday, Christmas, Engagement, F/M, Fourth of July, Halloween, Oral Sex, Sickfic, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-12
Updated: 2009-10-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cashewdani/pseuds/cashewdani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>If Joe was more self-aware, he'd say that everything started that night at Demi's 17th birthday party.  He's not, but that's still how it started.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

If Joe was more self-aware, he'd say that everything started that night at Demi's 17th birthday party. He's not, but that's still how it started.

****

Demi's just back from tour, and rather than being exhausted like a normal person, she's leaped right into planning this gigantic last minute party for her birthday which Joe just can't fathom. Whenever he talks to her, she's out with her mom looking for venues or trying to decide on a menu with Selena, like she hasn't just been all over the country for weeks. So, it's nuts, but not surprising at all when she calls him and the first words out of her mouth are, "I want to invite Miley and Taylor to the party."

"Then you should do that." He's in the middle of grabbing lunch with Kevin on their way to the studio to record some new tracks for _JONAS_ while they're home and he can just tell Kevin's giving him a look like he's not supposed to be on his cell while he's driving. Whatever, if Kevin's going to make him make up for all those hours of chauffeuring Joe around, this is the way it's going to be. His car, his rules.

"But, I don't want it to be weird."

"Why would it be weird?" While checking his blind spot, he can see Kevin mouthing _Who is it?_ because of course he's too polite to actually speak out loud while Joe's on the phone. Joe spends a lot of time thinking about how Kevin's even real. "It's Dem, Kev, I'll be quick," he says, just angling the mouthpiece a little away from his mouth.

"Joe, seriously? 'Why would it be weird?' Are you suddenly retarded or something?"

"Well, Taylor just ignores me or glares or whatever and Nick and Miley are friends."

"If friends are people who only interact when they're forced to." She's kind of got a point, and he knows things have been kind of different since Miley's book got published, even though that was months ago. Nick was a little on edge at first, about her whole discussion about how that hug made her feel, and the Prince Charming thing, and how it seemed like all anyone wanted to talk about all over again was his ex-girlfriend. And then things only got worse when she and Justin finally called it quits in May, like Nick was just waiting for some new song of hers to be dedicated to him, or for her to show up on the doorstep at 3 in the morning or something else insane. And even though there are still days like that, there are others where it seems like Nick wouldn't mind getting back together with her, trying this whole thing again now that they're a little older and a little more experienced. Joe stopped attempting to keep up with it awhile ago, just gearing his responses about Miley to whichever side of Nick seems to be out at the moment.

"Well, you'll be forcing them to, so it'll be fine. I don't really see what the problem is." Joe switches lanes without signaling and a series of angry honks comes from behind him just as Kevin starts yelling at him about paying attention.

Still, he can hear her chewing on her thumbnail, which she only does when she's upset about something. "Do you think Nick will be okay with it? He'll say that he is, but do you think that's the truth?"

"You're like super stressed about this, aren't you?" Joe stops short, and he's positive that as soon as he gets off the phone Kevin's going to be talking about how he nearly rear-ended the BMW even though there's clearly like 6 inches between their bumpers.

"I'm not stressed, it's just..."

He interrupts. "Look, we're all your friends, and it's your birthday. We can play nice for a few hours because of that. I've got to go, Kevin's grabbing the phone. I'll call you!" That last bit is pretty much shouted as Kevin has succeeded in acquiring the cell.

Joe can just barely hear her, "Bye!" before Kevin flips the phone shut and starts in on some spiel about how driving is a privilege that would make their dad proud.

****

They did a show in Florida last night and they have another one to do tomorrow, but Nick and Joe flew home because it's Demi's birthday and what's one more bout of jet lag on top of a few month's worth anyway? They've got less than two weeks of shows, it's the home stretch, and Joe figures he'll sleep when he's dead.

It's still surreal to him sometimes that this is his life. Like, five days ago, he celebrated his own birthday on stage in New Orleans. And his brothers made the audience sing him "Happy Birthday", thousands of people wishing him the same thing, their voices filling the arena. It was incredible, and something special, definitely, but he couldn't help but think it would have felt equally amazing for a few of his friends to do that over a cupcake or whatever.

So, he knew he wanted to be there for Demi, because she's having a party like any other 17 year old with music and bowls of chips on the tables and people snapping pictures of one another on their phones. In fact, the only way it's not exactly like everyone's 17th birthday is that Demi has a karaoke machine at her party. Which he initially thought was ridiculous since there's like no one here who hasn't had a record contract, but after an hour, Joe realizes it was in fact the greatest idea she could have had. Right now, she's up there with Selena and they're involved in a heartfelt rendition of "Since U Been Gone", complete with dance moves, and it's hysterical. And also something that they clearly have rehearsed, but they're girls so he's not really surprised.

Earlier, Demi's sisters were singing "Sk8er Boi" which Joe's just started being able to hear for the first time without cringing since the tour and Taylor's made everyone sit through two Faith Hill songs, and "From This Moment" and it was _still_ really fun. 

The clear highlight though has to be David Henrie performing "Can't Touch This" especially since he danced like MC Hammer. Unless Nick somehow gets convinced into doing Madonna, Henrie's taking the title.

The girls belt out the last notes, striking dramatic poses, and Nick's standing next to him, clapping for Selena's performance and looking across the room at Miley, like both of them are somehow still his girlfriend. Which is weird in so many different ways that Joe doesn't even want to think about it. Just like he's not thinking about the fact that he's got to be on stage in Jacksonville in like 19 hours.

Demi takes her bow and steps away from the mic at the same time that David is heading towards it. This is going to be fantastic, Joe can tell, and as soon as the next song queues up, that fact has been confirmed. David and Selena have transitioned right into "I've Had the Time of My Life". Yes, from _Dirty Dancing_. 

It's beyond cheesy, and David's pulled off his shirt to reveal a black tank top like Swayze's in the movie and everyone is just whistling and screaming about the performance. "Do the lift!" he can hear someone yelling out. He thinks maybe it's Brandon, one Demi's cast mates from "Sonny". At the end, David doesn't master the lift, but he still picks Selena up and spins her around. The way she's looking at him, and the way his hands are holding her around the waist, Joe can understand why everyone constantly thinks the two of them are dating.

The applause eventually dies down, the DJ cutting in with "Womanizer" blasting out of the speakers so loudly that Joe can feel the music behind his breastbone. He doesn't even have to look at Taylor to know she's got her glare working overtime. Nick is pretending to be puking his guts up and he can see Demi laughing behind him, making her way towards the two of them. Once she gets there, she elbows him in the ribs. "You going to get up there?" she semi-screams at him.

"What about bothering the other Jonas?" He tilts his head in Nick's direction. "I'm tired."

"You can't be that tired. You do this every night."

"Are you paying me for this performance?"

She looks at Nick and rolls her eyes. "He thinks it's about the money not the music. Fame's finally ruined him."

"What if I redeem our family name?" Nick says with a small grin. "Get some good music at this party."

"Oh! That would be awesome!" Demi claps her hands, but Joe can't even hear the sound. 

Joe places his hands on Nick's shoulders, staring him right in the face. "Madonna, Nicky. Bust out some 'Like a Prayer', come on."

Now it's Nick's turn to roll his eyes at Demi and she laughs. "I'm not singing anything by Madonna. I said good music. Good." He stretches out the last word like Joe's deaf or something, and shrugs him off.

"Not even 'Papa, Don't Preach'?"

"I hate you."

"People would go apeshit if you did that, Nick."

"Don't say shit, Joe." He says it with the exact same expression their mother would, you know, if she ever heard him use the word shit.

"Don't deny people of this song and I won't have to."

"Whatever," he mouths, while he's walking into the crowd. Joe notices that Miley's flipping through the book of track listings, and maybe Nick doesn't, or he doesn't care, because he joins her. Their heads lean in over the binder, looking somewhat intimate and thick as thieves, but it's probably just impossible to hear that close to the speakers.

Demi says, "I can't believe you don't want to get up there and do some Stones. Or Michael Jackson! Please sing 'Billie Jean'! Please, you have to."

"I know it's your birthday and all, but I already gave you a pretty spectacular bracelet, so don't push your luck."

"I love the bracelet. I do," She holds out her arm and he can see the delicately braided silver chain there that his mom picked out. Joe bought the card, which happened to be for a 7 year old, but had awesome dinosaurs on it, so he added a one in front and made it work. "But, think about the combination of this bracelet and a moonwalk."

"It would be pretty impressive." And he's a minute away from just agreeing to do it just because he feels bad, but, he's saved by Alyson coming over, saying, "Demi, I haven't danced with you literally in forever." And because it's been _literally, forever_ the two of them head out, joining Tiffany and Selena and practically every other girl at the party while Joe hangs back, watching them dance and nursing a Coke.

The circle keep motioning at him to join them, Anna Maria even holding his hand to drag him out there, but he's good. Just watching, he's good.

They all have their shoes off, and their hands waving over their heads as Bon Jovi plays and it looks like exactly the way they'd try to set a party scene for a movie. But it's even better than that, because Tiffany's hairdo has come loose and Taylor's eye makeup is smudged. They're sweaty and giggling, and this is so real, and so normal, that you'd never be able to capture it on film. 

Joe always feels a little off, when he describes something like that, calling it normal. Like so much of his life isn't anymore that he actually notices. As if everyone else's ordinary is what he thinks is special. He takes another sip of his drink and tries to feel better.

It's just that he's had too much time to think on this tour, and it's always the stupid kind of thinking where he's exhausted and wondering what makes people he doesn't even know want to come out and see them and just how much longer they can keep this up. He's used to it by this point, his mind drifting to things that are only going to freak him out, but it still sucks and he feels like everyone can tell that something isn't right. That he's not Joe most of the time.

His soda's empty, and he lost sight of Nick over a song again, and maybe he just needs a break. Or, he definitely needs a break, but right now he means from the dancing and the girls and thinking about how he could kind of be a nutcase in a lot of different ways. So he heads for the back door.

Outside it's cooler, and smells like L.A. and he wonders when that started to smell more like home than Jersey did.

He takes his phone from his pocket to see that he has no new messages and only one missed call from his mom who probably just wants to make sure that Nick ate enough and that they don't forget what time their flight is. Honestly, he'd been hoping for something from Camilla. Joe's been calling her for days and only getting voicemail. She did text yesterday, saying, _so busy sorry. Talk SOON_ and he knows she means busy with traveling and shoots, but it feels like she's saying too busy to think about him. Whatever though, because he gets it. He's busy too. 

Just never too busy.

He sighs and rubs his eyes and realizes he's tired and overcaffinated to compensate and things really aren't bad. They're not great, but that doesn't mean they're bad. 

Joe opens up a text message to her and starts to type _At dems party wish u were here_ but knows that he doesn't. _Miss you_ seems safe, or _we'll hang soon_ but everything feels a little dishonest. Like his heart isn't in it.

Joe's just staring at the blinking cursor when he hears Demi's voice from behind him. "Your brother is making out with Miley in the coat check room." He turns around to see she's playing with her own cell as if this happens all the time.

"Wait, what?" Joe's head is spinning a little, hearing that. Like it's trying to rush back three years ago to when that sentence would make sense.

"Yeah, Sterling was trying to do the same thing with my cousin and saw them. Apparently her and Prince Charming have reconciled for the moment." She smirks, her mouth all teasing and red lipstick.

"Haha, you're hilarious," he deadpans, still feeling like this came out of nowhere. "Did anyone else see them?"

"I don't think so, but BOP is going to be pissed they missed out on this scoop."

Joe is pacing the same way his dad does when he's feeling stressed out, and he wants to quit once he realizes but he thinks he'll seriously snap if he does. "I'm happy you think this is no big deal."

She stops looking at her phone entirely and puts her hand on his shoulder. It's warm, even through his shirt, and he feels calmer, with her touching him. "It's _not_ a big deal. I mean, whatever, they're not doing anything they haven't done a thousand times before. Plus, you read the book. We all knew this was coming."

Joe hadn't so much read the book as had bits of it read to him, but he knows what she means. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. It's my birthday." Her hand drops and Joe kind of wishes it was still there. He misses being touched by people who know him and aren't absolute strangers.

"Speaking of, what are you as the birthday girl doing out here?"

"I'm checking my messages. What about you?"

He laughs. "Checking my messages."

"I bet I got more than you."

"I'm not even going to argue with that because my girlfriend doesn't call me, and even my mom won't leave me a voicemail."

"Poor baby," she says, but it for some reason doesn't make him feel pathetic, even though it should. 

She puts her phone to her ear, smiling and pressing buttons as she goes through the messages and Joe winds up sending Camilla a text that says _hope your good_ which is so incredibly lame, but it's the only thing he can think of that feels genuine. Plus, he's not just going to stare at Demi while she goes through her voicemail.

Or he's going to try not to, and fail, and find himself recognizing that her nails are painted such a dark purple that he thought they were black until she placed them up against the fabric of her dress. 

The longer she's going through her messages, the less it seems like she's enjoying it, and he wonders if there's just that many of them, or something's wrong. Eventually, she sighs and flips the phone closed. "It'll be my birthday for another hour and thirty one minutes."

He looks down at the watch she gave him for his birthday. "I've got an hour and thirty two. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for a call."

"Well, they've still got at least 90 minutes."

She smiles, but not a Demi smile. Kind of a Nick smile actually, like she doesn't really want to right now, but she knows that she should. "Yeah, maybe he'll call."

Joe doesn't want to push the issue, but she just looks so sad, that he can't not ask her, "Demi, seriously, who are you waiting on a call from?" He feels like there must be some new guy she has a crush on who didn't come or something, but she says, "My birth father," and Joe's heart actually might break a little.

"I mean, it's stupid, right?" Her eyes are getting a sort of glassy, like it looks like she's about to cry, which Joe doesn't think he could stand. "I don't even think I'd want to talk to him if..." but her voice trails off before she finishes.

And the next thing Joe knows, he has his arms around her, and she's laying her head on his chest. "It's not stupid. It's not," he whispers right into her ear, and he can feel her nod into the crook of his neck. Joe has no idea what it must feel like to have your parents not want to call you on your birthday, and for a moment is so incredibly guilty that his parents love him, and they love his brothers, and love each other. Like he should be able to relate to what she's feeling in some way and coming up completely empty.

"I'm so sorry, Demi."

"Me too," he can hear her say into the front of his shirt, but then she's pulling away and stepping back, and Joe can still remember what the fabric of her dress felt like under his fingertips. "But I'm not going to let him ruin my birthday."

"You're sure you're okay?"

She doesn't answer though because Selena comes rushing through the doors, saying, "Geez, where have you been? Your mom wants to cut the cake and she's been looking all over for you."

"Well then let's go," Joe says, feeling like he still wants to be hugging her. Like he wants to find the guy who doesn't realize how lucky he is to have Demi as his kid and make him call her and apologize for not even sending her a card on her birthday. He's going to put his arm around her to walk her inside, but Selena's already done it, so he just follows behind the two of them. Inside, he makes a detour to the coat room, but there's no one in there. Which Joe hopes is a good thing.

Back in the ballroom, the lights have already been turned down low, and all he can really see is Demi bent over the 18 candles, holding hands with Selena. Everyone sings "Happy Birthday" really loudly and enthusiastically, like they're little kids and not professionals, and Demi's smile looks so big, and grateful and happy that he almost feels like he must have imagined what just happened outside. She makes her wish, blowing out the flames, and Joe really hopes that whatever it is, it's going to come true and that she didn't waste it.

****

They don't stay long after the cake, slipping right from saying goodbye to Demi and thanking her mom into the back seat of an Explorer bound for the airport. Joe's trying to close his eyes and relax a little, but he keeps thinking about Demi almost crying at her birthday party and wants to punch something. It's weird, how angry he is. Plus Nick is texting away next to him, not sharing that he just hooked up with his ex-girlfriend and not asking why Joe can't stop tapping his own cell against the window and basically being an all around dick. Not to mention that he didn't even sing any karaoke.

"So, you and Miley, huh?" Joe asks, trying to sound disinterested and basically failing. God, he is pissed.

Nick just sighs and keeps texting. "Shut up, Joe."

"I'm just asking! I mean, sorry if I need some clarification on whether you making out with her in a coat closet means anything." 

"Well, where'd you and Demi disappear to?" He looks up from his phone for like the first time since they got in the car, giving Joe this ridiculously snotty little brother face. Ugh, sometimes he hates Nick more than anyone on the planet.

"That's totally different and you know it." 

"So what were you two doing?" Nick asks.

"We were talking, okay?" Joe doesn't want to say about what, as though it's some private thing between just him and her. And because Nick's being such an ass right now he doesn't mention how tightly he hugged her or how he wanted to kiss her temple or how the whole thing is kind of eating a hole in his stomach. Well, it's either that, or the Cokes. Probably the Cokes. 

Nick's phone dings again that he's got a new message, and Joe realizes Camilla still hasn't called him back, and it's getting close to midnight and Demi's dad probably didn't either. Tonight is going down the toilet. 

"Are you texting Miley right now?" Joe asks, even though he knows that's clearly what's going on.

"None of your business."

"Oh my God, I can't believe you!" Joe pretty much screams it, which is melodramatic, but in some way feels appropriate. Even if it doesn't make him feel better.

"What the hell is your problem, Joe?" Nick's asking like he's annoyed and not like he cares. Plus Joe can't say that Demi's father is repulsive, or that he's worn out from touring, or how much he wishes they were driving back to the house right now instead of some private jet. So he says, "Nothing."

"Then chill out."

"You chill out."

"Yeah, I'll work on that." Nick goes back to his phone and Joe stares out the window, and a few hours later they're back in Florida and he's too tired to be pissed any more.

Camilla never calls, but he gets a text from Demi that says _thanks...for everything_ which he keeps in the Outbox even after he's read it.

****

They see some more of the South, and by more, he means different stadiums. And Joe is just counting the days like he's back in school and waiting for Christmas break. He smiles for the fans and rocks out every night and then goes back to the hotel or the car or the jet and shuts down, willing everyone to leave him alone by acting like a total asshole.

Until they get to Cleveland. Everything gets better after Cleveland.

They go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in between sound checks and it's a good day because Nick's really happy and talking about how he's sure they're going to get inducted eventually and Kevin takes a picture with Springsteen's Fender Telecaster which he can't stop talking about. Joe even finds himself enjoying it. Catching himself smiling just because he feels like it, not because anyone's looking.

And then, that night on stage, Joe can remember why they do this. Why it's worth the traveling and being away from people and not sleeping. The way they play in Cleveland, it's like it's the beginning all over again. Like things are starting to go well for them and they're just so happy that people showed up to see them do what they love to do.

When he talks to Nick about it, already on the plane to Canada, he says, "If we do all our shows like we played tonight, they've got to let us in," and Nick, half asleep on his shoulder murmurs, "Then we've got nothing to worry about." Joe believes him and closes his eyes until they land.

****

Their last show in Ottawa goes maybe better than the one in Cleveland, if that's possible. They play _so tight_ and the audience it seems like actually spends more time singing along than screaming and it feels like the only way they could have gone out, was doing a show exactly like this.

Backstage, his mother keeps crying and saying how proud she is of them, and how she's so lucky to have such amazing sons, and won't stop until they've all hugged her and let her kiss the tops of their heads. It's embarrassing, but sweet.

John Taylor shows him a tweet from Demi: _Caught some of the show on YouTube already. Beyond impressed!_ and Joe feels really good, even though the message wasn't for him.

Everyone is giddy and talking about sleeping in their own beds until after the sun comes up and not constantly wondering what time zone they're in. And for weeks, Joe's been dreaming about going home, but tonight he doesn't really want to leave the arena. He goes back up to the stage, the celebration getting quieter as he steps out, and takes a picture of the vast, empty space on his phone. Just to have.

It was a good tour, he realizes, already getting nostalgic and forgetting about everything that wasn't how he wanted it to be. They played great, and sold out all over, and it was good.

Nick comes and joins him, climbing out of the floor, just the two of them standing there on the stage. They don't say anything, but Joe puts his arm around Nick's shoulder, squeezing the joint where his arm connects. They look out over all those seats that had people in them an hour ago, people who they made feel something, and Joe thinks he could almost cry if he really thinks about.

It's quiet and tomorrow they're flying home, and it's a moment he's going to remember forever, even if he never took that picture.

****

Billy Ray Cyrus hosts a Labor Day BBQ every September and they haven't gone in years, since probably back when Nick was dating Miley for the first time. But they're home, and Nick says he wouldn't mind going with a look that is beyond obviously saying he wants to, so their mom makes about a metric ton of potato salad and they go.

It's the usual collection of people, except Selena's already left to film that Ramona movie she's doing, and Miley's brother is off with his band still touring. But the dads are all standing around the grill and talking about whatever it is that he'll talk about with other dads when he has kids someday and the moms are chatting in lawn chairs, yelling out about sunscreen and not running by the pool every so often.

Everyone else is either swimming or playing Guitar Hero on the giant projection screen that's set up by the garage, and that's where Demi is, kicking Emily Osment's ass at "Beast and the Harlot". Not that it's really hard, because Emily clearly sucks at Guitar Hero. Like, maybe sucks as bad as Joe's mom, who Frankie made play with him once and never again.

Emily's laughing through it though, all of her clanking, and the boos of the crowd, as Demi's score keeps climbing. Mitchel's trying to give her advice from the sidelines, but it's not really working. "Don't pick your finger up every time if they're all the same color! Just hold the button down and strum, seriously, how do you never get better at this? All those hours in my dressing room were wasted!"

At the end of the song, Demi wags her tongue like she's Gene Simmons and makes the internationally recognized sign for being metal, or telling people that you love them. "Who's up next?"

Mitchel's apparently really busy trying to explain to Emily why it's easier to put your pinkie on the orange button rather than reaching for it, and Mandy says she just wants to watch, so Joe picks up the abandoned white guitar. "You're going down, Lovato."

"You haven't beaten me in forever," she retorts, and she's right, but he's going to try. That is until she takes off her tank top and is just standing there in this red bikini top which matches the Gibson guitar she's holding, and he doesn't even stand a chance. Demi's his friend, but she's his friend who happens to be gorgeous, so he can't help it that she's occasionally distracting. He's a guy.

She annihilates him on "Psychobilly Freakout". It's a massacre so bad that even Emily's making fun of him an hour later while they're eating hot dogs and burgers and a fraction of the potato salad his mother didn't think was going to be enough. But, Joe's just shrugging it off and Nick's saying there's a reason they only let him play the tambourine that no one can hear.

After dinner, Frankie and Madison start a water gun fight and everyone kind of ends up joining in, even their parents, in some gigantic Boys vs. Girls match to the death. Demi and Danielle both manage to drop handfuls of ice down Kevin's t-shirt and Joe gets Emily back by dumping an entire bottle of Fiji water over her head while she's hiding from Mitchel. Who was apparently gunning down Taylor at the same time. 

While refilling the water bottle in the cooler with all the soda, Joe can see Nick shooting Miley, like it's just a game and he's not taking it seriously. Which is so unlike Nick, but then Joe can see from the way she gets all pouty, that Nick's just being competitive in a different kind of way. Because he leans and kisses her, right there in front of everyone, and Miley's laughing and pouring a Dixie cup's worth of water into his curls. Billy Ray stops spraying at Madison and Noah with the hose, and Joe can tell because their delighted shrieks die down tremendously. And at first, Joe's thinking maybe everything's turned south, but it's only so that Mr. Cyrus can make eye contact with Dad who comes over, and they're slapping one another on the backs like this is the greatest thing in the world.

Everything kind of slows down after the kiss happens, and well, after Emily and Taylor push Mitchel into the pool if Joe's going to be honest, but that was still after the kiss. Eventually, it's just Frankie and Madison still at it, soaked but determined while the sun begins to set.

He wanders over by the pool, where everyone has kind of dispersed from now that it's cooling off and the dessert has come out. But, Demi's sitting there, dangling her feet in the water. "You mind if I join you? I brought watermelon." Joe holds out this plate that he's put about six huge slices on.

"Ugh, I ate so much today. I think only Frankie ate more than I did."

"He seriously ate his weight in hot dogs, and then my weight in whatever that thing with Oreos in it was," Joe says, sitting down next to her and slipping his own feet in.

"Oh, that thing was fantastic. Actually, I probably still have some room if there's any of that left." She laughs and Joe can't help but think about the sweetness of the dessert and her mouth at the same time. So he takes a bite of the watermelon and tries to pretend it's good enough. 

The fireflies are out, yellow dots glowing through the landscaping.

"I can't believe summer's over," she says, moving her heel so it splashes his ankle a little.

"Summer's over," he repeats with a sigh. His phone dings over on the patio table, but he doesn't move to answer it, instead dropping the rind back on the dish.

"Are you sad about it?" She asks, her hair blowing around and looking probably as disheveled as his does.

"You know how when you're a kid, summer means not being in school and going to the beach and staying out really late because it doesn't get dark?"

She looks him right in the eyes. "But we're not kids anymore." And it's sad, that here Demi is just barely 17 and so positive that she's already an adult. That she's never going to want to get Italian ices from the truck or play with sparklers or do any of the hundreds of things he can remember loving as a kid. Hell, Joe's still talking about what he's going to do when he grows up.

"We'd still kind of be kids if we weren't famous," he says, because he's been thinking about it a lot recently. How if they'd never made it big, he'd be going into his senior year right now. Getting ready to graduate again and picking a career and probably partying his ass off because no one would be following him around making sure he was being a good role model.

"Yeah, but we'd probably have to work a crappy summer job."

He leans back a little, feeling the breeze on the parts of his calves that used to be underwater, appreciating that she's making him think of the side of things he hadn't bothered to consider. "Or do summer reading."

"Or be stuck at some unpaid internship. Could you imagine?" She's smiling at him, and even though he can hear the barbecue still going on across the lawn, it seems like there's only the two of them here. And he doesn't think he means to, but he runs his toes along the sole of her foot, just a little, and she keeps smiling. It makes him feel anxious, in the good way.

His phone rings again, and he figures he should see who it is, but thinks that it's probably Camilla and doesn't really want to get up.

"Are you going to answer that this time?"

"Nah," he says. "I'd rather be talking with you."

He could swear she blushes a little, but it's dark and maybe it's just the way the light from one of the mosquito torches is hitting her face. They sit there, making ripples on the surface of the water, discussing music and silly stories and other normal teen things they thankfully missed out on, until Nick comes over and says, "Frankie threw up in the rose bushes and Mom thinks it's time to go."

It would have killed the mood if Demi was a girl he wanted to kiss and he didn't have a girlfriend. Which he doesn't, because he does.

****

For the car ride home, no one wants to sit next to Frankie, who's still looking kind of green and miserable. "Shouldn't have eaten all of those hot dogs, huh?" Dad asks and Frankie responds, "Don't say hot dogs," looking a little bit worse.

In the end, Mom sits in back with him because she's the mom, and Kevin decides he and Danielle are going to take a walk and Nick stays to watch a movie with Miley. Which leaves Joe sort of alone in the car with his dad, all separate in the front seat. It feels kind of weird. 

Dad'll talk to Kevin about guitars for hours, and show Frankie how to do everything, and they all know that Nick's his favorite even if he claims to love them all the same. But, Joe doesn't really think his dad gets him. Which is fine except for moments likes this when they're forced to just make conversation between the two of them.

After about two minutes of silence other than Mom's quiet voice trying to soothe Frankie's stomach and state of mind, Dad starts talking to no one in particular about maybe buying a new couch for the studio and Joe takes out his phone to check his messages.

Both of the calls to the patio table were, as he figured, from Camilla, and so were three others from earlier in the day. She hasn't left any voicemails though so he shuts the phone and asks Dad if he's thinking about leather or upholstery and that's enough to get them home.

****

Joe realizes later that night that maybe he's being passive aggressive, so he texts _sorry. u around now?_ but she must not be, or she's being passive aggressive right back, because he doesn't get a response.

He's still got so much unpacking to do, but he's just lying on his bed, listening to some _Kings of Leon_ tracks with his feet propped up on one of the duffel bags. He's kind of half asleep, wondering about what would be happening right now if he was still sitting by the pool with Demi when Mom starts screaming down in the living room. It's probably just a spider, but Joe bolts out of his room in case it's not. For a minute, he's really freaked that Frankie passed out or something, but he can see him asleep in his own bed in front of _Phineas and Ferb_. 

The adrenaline's still got the better of him though, so he's sliding into the room on the area rug and almost wiping out if not for the wall he manages to catch himself on. He can see there's no blood and everyone's standing, but then he notices his mother holding Danielle's hand, where apparently Kevin's put an engagement ring.

****

There's congratulations and the two of them detailing the whole story of how Kevin got down on one knee out in the driveway and asked her. And when Nick comes home, they go through it all again, and by this time Frankie's woken up from all of the commotion and there's just a lot of excitement and laughing and his parents looking at one another like they must have done a really good job. 

And Joe's happy for the two of them, but all he can think about is how this means things are going to change. How Kevin's going to be buying his own house, and be someone's husband and maybe a lot of other things that Joe just can't think of yet. So, when they call Danielle's parents on the phone, Joe sneaks back to his bedroom. He just needs a minute. And he's going to call Camilla to tell her, but he doesn't want to be annoying if she is actually doing something, so he calls Demi instead. "My big brother's engaged."

"Oh my God, he finally asked her?" Demi kind of squeals on her end.

"What do you mean finally?"

"He bought the ring back in June. How did he do it, do you know?"

Joe hadn't heard anything about an engagement until tonight. No mention of rings or plans or anything, and he's spent the past two months within fifty feet of Kevin at almost all times. "How do you know about the ring?" He's trying to come across as curious instead of furious, which might be a good rhyme for a song if he can bother to remember it later.

"I went with him to pick it out when I bought your watch." 

Joe looks down at the watch he's been wearing since he got it. "My birthday watch is tainted?"

"It's not tainted." He can almost hear her eyes rolling over the phone.

Joe feels even shittier than he did just thinking about things changing. Like maybe they started to change before he even noticed. "Well, why didn't he ask me?" 

"Because you're not a girl, stupid."

"Ok, well, why didn't you tell me?"

"He asked me not to," she says, and looking up Joe can see the he in question standing in the doorway.

"Demi, I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah, you alright?"

"I'm alright," and he disconnects the call. 

Before Kevin can say anything, Joe wants to know, "Why did Demi find out and not me?"

"Joe..." Kevin is smiling like he doesn't get at all why Joe's angry, and like it's still the greatest night of his life.

"I'm your brother, okay? I'm your brother and you didn't even tell me..."

"Joe..." Their voices overlapping and vying for volume.

"Did Nick know? What about anyone else?"

"JOE!" Finally Kevin just screams it, still smiling. "No one else knew. I wanted to know if a girl thought the ring was good and she did, and that's it."

"You could have asked what I thought about it. All of it, not necessarily the ring." He's still hurt. Like his older brother is growing up and leaving him behind and didn't even have the decency to give him any sort of warning.

"Well, what if I asked you to be my best man?"

And it still hurts, thinking about Kevin moving out or spending holidays with Danielle's family, but not as bad as it did a second ago. "You're serious?"

"Of course I'm serious! You're my brother. I love you." 

And Joe's hugging him, really hard, like he hasn't in years. Like he wants to hold on to him for as long as he can.

****

"I can't believe that Kevin and Danielle are engaged," Demi says, picking up a teapot and turning it around in her hands.

Joe makes her put it down because there's no way in hell he's buying a teapot for anyone. "I can't believe I have to get them a stupid engagement present. Who does that?"

"Grownups. Grownups do that. And if you're going to be Kevin's best man, you have to buy them something."

"Do you think they want one of these?" Joe holds up an egg timer shaped like a tiny, Asian man.

She takes it from him and puts it back on the shelf. "No one wants one of those."

"I could use one of these, Dem. Seriously. Think of the things I could time with it!" She's starting ignoring him though, walking further down the aisles and looking at some glass containers.

"Why don't you get them some nice Pyrex dishes?"

"What's a Pyrex?"

"You are hopeless."

"You do realize you're just going to pick things out and I'll tell you they're too expensive and we'll do that until finally you just get sick of it and then my mom will put my name on something she paid for."

"No, Joe, come on. This is serious."

Joe knows this is serious, which is why he's dragging his feet and trying to make a big joke out of everything. He's gotten over being out of the loop on the engagement, and he's aware that Danielle is really the only girl in the world for Kevin and that they are so stupidly in love with one another. But that's kind of become the problem at the moment. "Okay, let's be serious. Kevin's got Danielle and Nick's got Miley and what do I have?" Because he doesn't even feel like he has Camilla anymore, not really. Like the only reason they haven't broken up yet is because he's been back for over a week and still hasn't seen her. And just for the record, he's never ending a relationship through some form of technology ever again.

"Well, right now you have me," Demi says, and it hangs heavy in the air between them, full of too many different meanings. He thinks she means it like a friend, or at the very least, as a shopping partner, but all he can think is how it kind of could be her saying she's like his girlfriend too. It's weird, and he doesn't like having tension with her, so Joe does what he always does, diverts attention when things get a little too real. "I'm thinking about fencing you with those BBQ forks over there right now, just so you know."

The moment passes because she stops looking at him and looks at them hanging there on the wall instead, all shiny and pointy and new. "If I let you do that with me, will you buy them something not stupid?"

"You would really fence me in the middle of a department store?"

"Yeah, it could be fun."

"Just the fact that you would is enough for me. Let's get those for the newly engaged."

"You won't do it because you know I'll beat you," and she sticks her perfect, pink tongue out at him. 

So, they buy the BBQ forks and a serving platter that Demi picks out, since apparently she's the only person who knows whether Danielle's going to like something or not.

In the parking lot they get photographed putting the bags in the back of his car, and the paparazzi are yelling if things with Camilla are over and whether he and Demi are dating. They both just smile and go about their business and don't answer any questions.

****

He calls Camilla after the shopping trip to grab dinner somewhere and is like 95% sure he's going to break up with her before the night is done. Driving over, he's even going through how he could do it, whether it's better to do it right away or wait until they're on their way home. But then she's waiting in front of her house, wearing the blue and white polka dot dress he loves on her, and she's all tan and smiling and he doesn't so much want to any more.

They have their pictures taken arriving and leaving, but no one catches them making out on her front steps except her mother, who yells at them in Portuguese. The next day, both sets of pictures are all over the web with speculations ranging from Demi's replaced Camilla in Joe's heart, to Joe's just waiting for Kevin's engagement buzz to die down before announcing his own to Camilla. And even with the great meal and how good it felt to kiss her last night, Joe's still about as unsure as the blogs are.


	2. Chapter 2

Their first day in Canada shooting _Camp Rock 2_ , Matt wants to get all of the beach scenes in the can because it's only going to get colder as filming goes on. Of course, it's already October in Canada, so...yeah, it's pretty cold to begin with.

But this is the sequel, and following in the _High School Musical_ tradition, this movie needs more skin and more drama and more kissing. 

Oh yeah, this time around, Shane and Mitchie are going to lock a lot more than fingers. 

Which is...weird. 

Back when they first got the script, he and Demi had joked about it. Joe thinks he even said that it would be so much like kissing a relative that he should just practice with Nick. But now that they're here on set, it doesn't seem nearly as funny. He's going to have to kiss Demi soon and it makes him feel like he's heading up to his first day of school or something like that. That same kind of nervous anticipation. And mostly like he could throw up if he thinks about it too much.

Today, he doesn't have to worry about it though. He's just got to keep from shivering and look good in his bathing suit. Which is why he's doing pushups out on the sand while everyone else is huddled around wearing coats and waiting until the last absolute moment to strip down. By the time Matt's ready to call everyone to places, Joe's already moved through jumping jacks and crunches trying to keep the blood flowing and his mind quiet.

Wardrobe's put Demi's in a bikini just like the one she had on Labor Day, and they've gotten her this super cool pair of vintage looking sunglasses with white frames. He loves the way she looks in those glasses, but seeing her in them sets off that anxious nausea, so he mentally runs lines until it passes. Stretches out his arms.

She takes her place on the yellow beach blanket, legs bent up in the air, chin balanced on her palm. The guy who's playing Tess' brother, Cory, takes his place next to her. He's new to Disney and Hollywood, and even to acting. Joe's giving him another two weeks before he's appearing in the magazines, with his story about getting found at a college acapella festival making the girls swoon. And he seems like a nice guy, but Joe still doesn’t like the way he’s looking at Demi in her swimsuit. As though the guy could help it.

In character, Demi and Cory start to talk about how it always feels better to take what they're feeling and put it in a song, and then transition into doing exactly that.

It's a later scene in the movie, after Tess has already planted the idea in Shane's head that maybe Mitchie likes hanging out with Cory for more reasons than he's the songwriting instructor this year. And so when Demi's belting out that doing this is what makes her feel most alive, he's supposed to be walking back from the dock, catching her, and feeling confused and torn.

They get the shot in only one take, and Demi looks at him like it was really impressive he was able to get into that headspace so effectively. The nausea hits again with a vengeance.

****

Shooting manages to go smoothly for those first few days, like they're really lucky or on point or something. He loves filming scenes with Meaghan, who he didn't get to hang out with nearly as much last time, and the weather is good, and he and Demi nailed their duet yesterday. Everything's going along exactly as it's supposed to and that's enough to shut his mind off most of the time.

Which is the only reason he can come up with for how he forgot Camilla was coming to visit until his phone rings and she's telling him the plane landed and she's getting in a car right now. Or he forgot because they hadn't even talked about her staying for the weekend since before he got back from tour. That might have been it too.

He's in the middle of shooting a scene with his brothers when she arrives, and he gives her a little wave while Nick's getting his makeup touched up. For some reason they can't get through without laughing because Kevin keeps making his eyes all googly when he asks, "If I'm a counselor, am I still allowed to make a bird house?", but Matt has moved from joking that this will be great on the blooper reel to getting slightly pissed off. With him glaring, and Camilla looking increasingly bored, they eventually manage to get an acceptable take down and are rewarded with lunch.

Joe walks over to Camilla, leaning in to kiss her, but she turns her head so he gets her cheek instead of her lips. He pretends not to notice. "How was the flight?"

"It was fine." She's being too cool, even for her. "Is there somewhere we can talk?" And Joe realizes with that question that she probably didn't want to kiss him because you don't really want to kiss a person right before you break up with them. He hates it. The way that everything is, he hates it. Especially because even though it's her decision, he feels completely responsible.

"Yeah, sure, of course." He thinks about taking her hand to walk her to his trailer, some last ditch effort at making her change her mind, even though he doesn't think he wants her to. Joe misses knowing what he wants, knowing what his feelings are telling him to do.

As soon as they're inside and the door is closed, she says, "Joe, I don't think this is working," and it's not, but he still feels a little like dying listening to her say it. "I haven't seen you in weeks and I wasn't even missing you. That's not right."

"Yeah, it's not," he says on a heavy exhale. Tries to remember the last time he wanted her to be with him and comes up with empty handed.

"You've felt it too though, right?"

He rubs at his forehead. "It's not just you, no," but right now it feels like it is. Like he must still love her as much as he used to somewhere inside of himself, even if he doesn’t know where that place is.

She smiles, but it's sad underneath. "I really care about you, Joe, still, but it's not the same."

And he says, "I'm sorry I wasn't a better boyfriend," because he really wasn't even mediocre. You don't forget about your girlfriend coming to visit, or get mad at her for not calling and most importantly, you don’t think about kissing other girls if you are.

"You were acceptable," she says with the same sad smile in place. "I've got to go though; my flight back is leaving not that long from now," and she’s putting her purse back on her shoulder that he doesn’t even remember her taking off.

Once he recognizes her purse, it’s not hard to notice that she doesn’t have any other sort of luggage with her. "You flew all the way out here just to break up with me?"

"I couldn't let you have another relationship end over a cell phone, Joe," she says while softly placing her hand on his shoulder. He wants to cry, hearing that, because she's so amazing and they're over, and this is all his fault. But, he laughs because it's a joke and he can't let himself break down just yet. "Well, thank you, for that. But really, you don't have to leave. Stay the weekend." He wants her to, just like he wants to touch her hair and feel the way about her he used to. He wants all sorts of different things.

"I have to go," and it’s firm in a way that lets him know her mind was made up before she even stepped on that plane. And Joe's aware that he was always the kid that wanted what he couldn’t have, but it still surprises him when it happens now. Like he should be old enough to stop believing the grass is always greener somewhere else.

She moves to hug him, and he hugs her back, thinking about how this is maybe the last time he's going to hug her, after doing it for years. When she pulls away he can see tears in her eyes, and his own throat still feels a little tight. "I'll call you when I land, to let you know the flight went okay." She's blinking really quickly, and he glances away as one of those tears slips off her eyelashes and she brushes it away. He can’t see that right now.

"I'd like that," he says because if either one of them use the word goodbye, he’s going to lose it.

She must feel the same way because she doesn’t add anything else, just kisses his cheek this time, and then she’s walking out of the trailer to the same car she arrived in.

Joe puts on some emo mix he has saved on his Ipod that he thinks he put together around the time she was spotted with that tennis player and just lies on the floor of his trailer, trying to keep his breathing even.

****

Back on set, they're shooting a breakfast spot, which makes the fact that he skipped lunch barely even important. In the scene, he's supposed to be sitting next to Demi, listening to her rave about the new songwriting instructor, and asking Alyson if he's really all that great. But, the lighting isn't cooperating, so they're kind of just sitting around, picking at the plates of toast and strawberries.

"I thought I saw Camilla earlier, is she hiding around somewhere?" Demi asks, popping a piece of crust into her mouth.

Joe says, "Camilla went home early," trying to keep his voice from expressing anything. He hadn't even thought about having to tell people that this happened. Where is Canada's version of TMZ to just spread this news around for him? Except for the fact that, shit, that's going to be happening soon, for real, and he can't take this. He wonders if she's already getting questioned at the airport.

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"She, um, kind of broke up with me." God, Joe can't even look at her. Today is a shitfest.

"Oh, Joe. I'm so sorry!" Demi puts her hand on his shoulder, in the same place Camilla had, and this time it doesn’t feel horrible. Until it kind of makes him feel worse. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine." The weird part is that he thinks he mostly is. Like, it hurts, and it sucks, and he wants to crawl into a ditch and die, but it was seriously only a matter of time. He's been preparing for this for months. Apparently not well though.

"Well, if you want to talk, I'm here." She leans in, her hand moving down his back, to rest her head there instead.

"Thanks." And he thinks that she's going to move away, but she stays, resting on him, until the cameras are going to roll. Even then, she apologizes for it, and it makes him feel things he's too confused to figure out right now.

They get the scene and the one they have scheduled after it and he's maybe going to survive.

****

And he does. Things become routine again, after the breakup. They shoot, and go back to the hotel at night for cards, or movies or swimming in the pool. Joe hangs out with Kevin and Cory, usually playing Play station whenever Nick and Demi have homework to do, keeping a tally of points to know which of them is the ultimate champion of filming. But even when his favorite 17 year olds aren't being educated, Joe spends more time with Demi. 

Nick's not around as much, which a few months ago Joe would have said was entirely Miley's fault, but she's being about a trillion times better about their relationship than the last time. In fact, it seems like they're really _functional_ and that Nick just wants to connect with her whenever he gets the chance, not that he’s feeling forced to. 

If Joe's being honest, he kind of misses having Nick around, but it does give him and Demi more time to watch Will Ferrell flicks or talk out on the balcony overlooking the pool. With how busy the past year was, he likes having time to be with her.

That is until yesterday, when their talk about carnival rides somehow turned into him bugging her about the impending first kiss they're scheduled to film. He thinks maybe The Tunnel of Love was the connecting piece in that conversation, but he's not entirely sure. He also has no idea why he was even giving her a hard time about it when he hates when anyone does it to him. But all that really matters is that he still hasn't spoken to her since she said she'd pay attention to him again when he stopped being such an ass. 

And today is Halloween, which was Joe's favorite holiday at 6 and 8 (at 7 he got a mountain bike for Christmas, so, clearly, not that year) and at 9, when he started to feel like it wasn't cool to do it anymore. Mostly because Kevin told him it wasn't.

And so, when Frankie went into a complete and absolute meltdown a few days ago after Mom told him he couldn't go trick or treating and Dad eventually joined in to yell that he was getting to old for it and also for acting like he was right now, Joe felt like he was back in third grade and wanted to cry right along with his brother.

That night, before Frankie went to sleep, Joe went into his room, where he was all curled up in bed already, and told him he'd take him out. If Frankie really wanted to go, Joe would make sure he got to. Because he, and Kevin and Nick might have chosen to give up normal things, like school and holidays and sleeping in their own beds every night, but Frankie's just stuck being along for the ride.

Although, Joe has to admit that being along for the ride does sometimes have its advantages. Like the make-up lady, Carol, did Frankie all up like a zombie complete with vast amounts of decay once he was done with his assignments for the afternoon. It's a much better costume than any Joe ever got to wear and even under the rotting face he'd been given, Joe could see how thrilled he was. He even said thank you without being prompted to do it.

And so they walk around, knocking on the trailer doors and getting the candy that Joe mentioned to everybody yesterday they should have. Frankie's bag keeps getting bigger and heavier, until he hands it over to Joe to hold. And doing this, Joe feels like a good big brother, which is something he's been hearing he needs to strive for since he was 3. With mostly mixed results.

He's so caught up in thinking about how special this whole scenario feels that he doesn't even realize that the trailer they've gotten to is Demi's, and how it's likely she still doesn't really want to see him. Frankie's knocking before Joe can even put two and two together, forget about stop him. And then, she's opening the door, and she's not smiling, but she doesn't look like she's going to set him on fire or anything either. It's wrong that it makes him optimistic.

"Trick or Treat, Demi!" Frankie yells.

"And a Happy Halloween back at you. I forgot you guys were doing this."

Joe shrugs and really wants to apologize but has no idea how he's supposed to do that in front of Frankie. Even the fact that he's walking him around right now will not be good enough reason for Frankie not to mention that Joe used the word ass in front of a girl to their mother. "Yeah, well, I promised."

"Do you mind if I come with?" she asks. There is nothing he wants more, honestly, than for her to do that, but it's still kind of surprising that it's even being offered as a suggestion.

"Only if you don't steal my candy," Frankie says, and Joe shoves him, indicating, "That wasn't polite." 

"Alright, you can have the Tootsie Pops because I think they're gross." 

"Kids. Can't take them anywhere," Joe laughs like he's nervous, which is dumb because she's Demi, and she doesn't seem that mad anymore.

"Why don't you come in and sort some of that loot while I get ready?" 

"Get ready?" Joe asks, while Frankie's already pushing past him to dump his bag of candy all over her floor. 

"Well, I need a costume, duh."

“Demi, you really don't have to..." Joe starts, but she butts in saying, "I want to," in this way that makes him think he's been forgiven even if he hasn't done anything to make it up to her.

So while she's drawing freckles all over her face with an eyeliner pencil, Joe gets his pick of the stuff that Frankie doesn't like, including Twizzlers, Whoppers and Good and Plenty. After some coaxing, Frankie also parts ways with the plain Hershey's chocolate, because as Joe points out, he is obviously the best older brother in the world, way better than Kevin or Nick, because neither of them even suggested doing this for him. 

Following the freckles, Demi just throws on a plaid shirt of Joe's that he thinks he left here the other day when they were watching the new season of _Wizards_ that Selena and David mailed to them, and puts her hair into a super quick set of pigtail braids. "How do I look?" And she looks cute, because lately she always looks cute to him, but he feels like he'd sound like her grandmother for saying it, or that Frankie would start singing about them sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

So instead, Joe says, "If you're implying my shirt makes me look like a farmer, I resent that."

"You have no problem looking like a boat captain or some kind of gay pirate, but farmer is what you take offense to?" 

"Hey, I'll have you know..."

"Guys, let's just go!" Frankie practically howls, probably because Joe told him he couldn't eat anything until they finished, or because he's 9 and his brother talking to a girl is the most boring thing in the world.

"Alright, we'll go! Keep your decomposing face on," Joe says, laughing at his own joke and Demi joins in. The two of them are nearly hysterical while Frankie just stares like he has no idea what's so funny or why he's being delayed because of it. It only makes Joe laugh harder, and then Frankie's grabbing both their hands and dragging them outside. They manage to get themselves under control. Eventually. It takes at least four more trailers. And they started out in a group, but at every stop, Frankie pulls a little further ahead and the two of them fall a little farther behind.

The weather is perfect, all blue sky and just the right amount of chill for Halloween. Out here by the trailers, the leaves have been allowed to accumulate a little bit, because they don't have to keep up the facade of July, and he and Demi kick them around while they're walking, sneaking candy during the moments Frankie has his back to them. It's been such a nice day, and Demi's such an awesome girl that he has to tell her, "I'm sorry, by the way, for nagging you about the kissing scenes."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I got so upset about it." 

He's going to ask her why that was, but then Frankie's turning around, catching Joe off guard with a Reese’s cup halfway to his mouth, and he doesn't get the opportunity.

****

Tonight's the night that they're finally filming a kissing scene. And he doesn't mean finally like he's been looking forward to it, but also not like he's been hoping to just get it over with already. He doesn't know how he means it.

Demi's been kind of scarce recently, and not just with him, but with Kevin and Nick too. Like she can't even look at Jonas DNA in preparation for this event. Joe keeps taking quick glances at her across the room, eating with the girls, in between reading his lines about the fireworks display.

_Mitchie: They're beautiful.  
(Shane pushes some hair behind her ear, keeps his hand there. Mitchie looks at Shane)  
Shane: You're beautiful.  
(They kiss.)_

Next to that, in red pen, Demi's written, _With sexual energy, but the Disney kind_. He’s not really sure what that means but can't help smiling a little, feeling nervous. Keyed up.

His right foot is under the table, tapping out a beat he’s barely aware of but that he suspects might belong to one of her songs.

****

Because they're filming at night, they can get away with wearing hoodies and jeans. It's unfortunate that it's winter in Canada and these clothes stopped being appropriate about a week after they arrived, but it's still better than if they had to be in t-shirts or swimsuits or something like that.

The crew is putting the finishing touches on the fireworks, while he and Demi have their hands deep in the pockets of the sweatshirts. They keep trying to make conversation, but it's mostly stunted with way too many pauses. This whole thing is the definition of awkward and Joe honestly hates Zac a little bit for making a flick so popular that everything else is going to be trying to live up to it forever. If he wasn't concerned about losing feeling in his hands, he'd totally be texting that jerk an angry message. _Thnx 4 ruining things with Dem, Bolton. Ass._

He thought for sure most of their cast mates would be hanging out to watch this, but the cold is thankfully keeping them away. Plus, Joe might have told Danielle this was a good time for her to come visit and he totally saw the tweet Demi put out to Miley in a similar vein. Great minds and all.

Eventually, when it feels like Joe is just going to bust apart with anxious anticipation, the cameras are ready to roll. He and Demi take their places, and right before they're going to start, he whispers to her, "This is going to be fine."

"I trust you," she responds, and he feels his chest go tight. She's shivering and biting her lip a little and Joe's really concerned for the first time that at least one of these takes is going to be him and not Shane.

"Action!" Matt yells, and she starts, staring wistfully out on the fireworks over the lake. "They're beautiful."

He puts his fingers into her hair, repositioning it the way he's supposed to, hoping his hand isn't too cold on her face.

"You're beautiful," he says, and then Matt's telling them to cut because Joe's making it sound like it's way too much of a surprise. It's just that, it kind of is? Oh God. His heart hammering against his ribcage, they have to run it again, and then he's leaning in and kissing his best friend, her mouth tasting like she just brushed her teeth. Demi puts her hand on his chest, which he doesn't remember being in the script, and it probably wasn't because Matt's asking them to try it another way. This time, Demi sighs, and Joe's head is spinning.

There are a lot of things he wants to say to her, but none of them were written down for him, so he keeps them all inside.

Matt keeps requesting they repeat it again, and in between the shots, Demi won’t really meet his eyes. He appreciates and hates it at the same time.

****

The next morning, there's a plastic bag hanging outside his door. Inside there's a pair of wax lips, some Hershey's kisses and a tube of regular Chapstick. Oh, and a note from Demi saying, _Thank you for being a friend_ because she's been watching a ridiculous amount of _Golden Girls_ over the phone with Selena on Lifetime. And probably because she felt the need to make the point that nothing has changed between the two of them.

At least where she’s concerned.

He wants to be offended, but he’s not. In fact, the note’s just saying, _Joe, I know you and I’m not stupid. However, you're a giant dork who falls in love with everyone and I'm not ready to be next. No hurt feelings._

Laying in bed last night after they finally made it back to the hotel, listening to Nick breathing in the opposite bed, Joe came to terms with the fact that he’s always loved Demi in some way and that this new infatuation phase of it is just because he’s lonely, and he spends most hours of the day acting like her boyfriend. When they get back to L.A. and real life and stop seeing one another constantly, things will go back to the way they were. They’ll be friends and he’ll be satisfied with that.

And because he’s going to try to get back to friendship as quickly and smoothly as possible, Joe runs up to her before she heads into shoot something with Cory, kissing her on the cheek with the wax lips in his mouth. "You're a pal and a confidant," he says, mostly muffled and she laughs.

They'll be good. They're friends. This'll pass.

****

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to pass any time soon. They shoot another three kissing scenes: When Shane sees Mitchie get off the bus the first day, at the end of Final Jam, and the most awkward one, where they’re working in the kitchen washing dishes for her mom and a soap fight turns into something else.

That last one was the worst because Matt didn’t think it would make the final edit for time and just wanted to see what they could come up with. So there he was, ad libbing a way that he could kiss her, putting bubbles on her nose and dodging as she splashed him from the sink. She was laughing like she was Demi as he moved closer and he felt comfortable and good and a little like it was real. And then, just at that moment, Matt asked the DP to change the angle on the shot and Joe said he needed a break, some air, something. He doesn’t even really remember what he said.

But he had just taken a walk outside and ran around the building a few times, not caring that he was potentially messing up his wardrobe, or that Demi had been looking at him kind of strangely right before he left. The laps weirdly enough made his heart feel like it was beating in control again, and back in the kitchen he was able to disconnect from her gleeful shrieks and do his job.

If Nick noticed that night that he never turned his side of the lights out, he didn't mention it.

****

The original plan was to break for Thanksgiving, but there were some delays and a problem with Visas, and it's not like Thanksgiving is even happening in Canada on the fourth Thursday in November. 

So, they have to get over it. Joe's gotten really used to not doing typical things on holidays. There's always a concert or an appearance and sometimes yes, he wishes he could watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve at home while it's snowing outside and his family's eating flavored popcorn, but whatever. He can't, and it's fine. Just like it's fine that they'll shoot in the morning and eat some turkey all together and then shoot some more. 

Not everyone finds this typical though. Demi told him Jasmine cried after it was announced, realizing she wasn't going to get any of her grandmother's cooking. It made Joe feel cynical and adult in a bad way, that he could so casually shrug off missing these things now. But, because of it, Demi and Anna Maria wanted to do something to make her feel better, and Meaghan decided even if Jasmine couldn't have her grandmother's sweet potatoes, she'd have something. Which is why tonight, rather than rehearsing a scene or watching _Jurassic Park_ which is playing on NBC, they're baking a ridiculous number of pies.

Alyson and Jasmine have done this before apparently, and are overseeing the operations, telling Demi to roll the crust thinner, taking the lemon juice away from Joe when he intentionally squirts it at Nick. After that, the only thing they'll let him do is take the stems off apples, which is a position even lower than Frankie's, who is being allowed to wash them once Joe is done. 

But, demotion aside, it's a lot of fun and reminds him of doing bake sales with the youth group when he was a kid. Getting to spend the night in the church gym on Saturday and presenting their cookies and cakes the next morning to the congregation. Riding that exhausted giddy high all through the service, Nick kind of half asleep next to him in the pew.

Everyone is laughing and having a good time, and Cory starts humming something under his breath while coring apples and before Joe knows it, they're all singing "We Rock" and trying to remember the choreography, jumping around the kitchen. They sing and bake and the whole room smells like cinnamon and fall. The air is warm from the oven and so many of them being crammed in one place. It's amazing, basically. And it only gets better when the first pie comes out, gooey and sweet, and they eat it right out of the pan, burning their tongues and not really minding. 

"Today has been awesome," Jasmine says, licking some pie insides off of her finger. "Thank you."

"It's because we love you," Meaghan follows up and all of the girls start hugging and saying the others are like their best friends and being sappy.

Joe slings his arm behind his brother's neck, deadpanning, "Nick, I want you to know, you're my best friend and I love you." 

"Joseph Adam, I adore you," Nick says, letting himself be silly, letting himself be the version of Nick who's 17 and not 40. Jasmine was right, today has been awesome. "You light up my life," he continues and they're both trying to keep straight faces during it, but it's impossible and they wind up laughing so loudly that the girls are catching on that they're probably being made fun of.

He notices Demi looking at him, grinning in the same way he feels he must be, like she knows he's not mocking them to be mean. And Joe’s on such a high that it just feels nice to have her smiling at him. It’s not making him think about if it means something, or if he’s going to do something she doesn’t want him to, or any of that. It’s just Demi. Smiling.

Joe can see she's got flour on her cheek, and motions her closer with his hand. "Hey, come here."

"What?" 

"You've got something on your face." He gently sweeps his thumb over her cheekbone, and while he's doing it, she closes her eyes, just for a moment, and he feels his stomach flip. It's unexpected and typical at the same time.

"Thank you, Joe." Her voice is quiet and she’s still smiling at him to the point that he has to remind himself that this is just infatuation.

"You're welcome," he says, kind of shell shocked, as she goes back to the girls and the bite of pie Anna Maria is holding on a fork for her. And Joe knows that he should offer to stay and help clean up, but can only think about standing at the sink with Demi like in that scene, and makes up some story about having to get Frankie back to the hotel before his mother kills them both because he’s just got to get out of here while everything still feels manageable. Feels good.

And because Frankie’s nine, and his brother’s a liar, he starts to whine about how it’s not fair that he never gets to stay up and do anything, and how he’s not even tired and that he’s just going to stay up watching TV anyway. Joe’s trying to think what he can bribe him with just to get him out of the room when Nick comes over and says, “Frankie, if I come back with you now will you play Rock Band with me?”

“I thought you were going to call Miley before she gets on the plane to go to the Macy’s parade?” Joe asks, and Nick says, “Well, I’ll just tell her good luck and then Frank the Tank and I are taking our band on the road.”

“Can I be drums?” Frankie wants to know.

“If you want, but you have to get your coat so we can get at least a whole tour done before Mom puts you to bed.” He shoves Frankie towards the tables. “And get mine and Joe’s too!” he yells after him. “And your hat!” More quietly he adds, “Joe, go say goodbye to Demi, I’ll warm the car up.”

Nick’s walking out before Joe can even thank him. He hasn’t mentioned anything about Demi out loud, not even to Nick, because he’s hoping it’s not a thing. But apparently, he’s noticed something’s up anyway. And just knowing now that he could say something to Nick, if he wanted to, it feels about a trillion times better. Like he’s not just stuck keeping it inside if he doesn’t want to.

He hugs everyone goodbye, even Cory, who quirks his eyebrow at him like, man, seriously, what’s with the lovefest, but it’s just been that kind of night. He saves Demi for last, burying his nose in her hair just a little to find she smells better even than the room around them.

Driving back, he turns the radio on really loudly and sings along even though Frankie keeps saying they’re not going to let him sing in the band, that he has to play bass.

****

Before he knows it, it’s the last day of filming, and everyone’s emptying out their trailers and going to catch flights home. The three months, suddenly over. And like every time that something is ending, like all the tours and shoots and events, he’s sad but he’s ready. Onto the next phase.

He doesn’t arrange it, but he still ends up sitting next to Demi on the plane, like it’s fate or something. And she kind of shrugs and gives him an uneasy half smile about it, and he can’t stand it. Since the first kiss there are these moments where they’re trying so hard to be normal, that it makes everything that much more awkward. Like neither one of them wants to acknowledge the fact that they know what the other person’s mouth tastes like.

So rather than talking, which they would have done on any other plane ride, Joe just hands her his right headphone so they can watch _Flight of the Conchords_ and not feel weird about having nothing to say. She laughs the most at Murray and Joe realizes he’s glancing over at her each time before he does something to catch her whole reaction to it. But then, Demi kind of falls asleep on his shoulder, and he must konk out too, because he doesn’t remember seeing the Bowie episode at all, even though it’s one of his favorites.

They probably would have slept the whole way to LAX, except somewhere over the Midwest they hit a thunderstorm, and the entire plane jolts sideways, spilling Demi into his lap and forcing Joe into the window. She latches onto his hand with a vice grip, and he can see terror written all over her pale face. He forgets sometimes how much she hates to fly.

The captain comes on, and asks them to put their seatbelts back on as Joe reaches over with his free hand and clicks hers into place before doing his own without even thinking. "Let's play a game, okay? Take your mind off this?" he asks, and she just nods, breathing quickly. He doesn’t like how scared her eyes look.

Joe thinks of the stupid games his mom would have them play in the car when they were little and yells out to everyone, “Alright, I am going on a picnic and I am bringing an alien spaceship. Kevin, what are you bringing? Tell Demi.”

“Demi, I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing an alien spaceship and a barracuda. Nick, you’re up.”

And they go around, adding a Christmas tree and a dachshund and an emu, and Demi slowly loosens her grip, but never stops holding his hand. Not even when they mess up around sea lion and haven’t felt a tremor since jack o’lantern.

After they touch down and they’re told they can move about the cabin, she kisses his temple and he says it was nothing. Believes it until she smiles at him, this special kind of smile he’s only seen her give to him, and he realizes it’s something.

This whole thing, it’s something. He just doesn't know what yet.


	3. Chapter 3

This year, the plan is to do the Christmas Parade at Disney Land on the 25th, which is nice because they can still be home to eat baked ziti and open their gifts and have a piece of the holiday that they don’t have to share with millions of people worldwide.

They ride the float with Goofy and Pluto and play Nick’s song from all those years ago, the one that’s kind of the whole reason they’ve ended up here at all. And then after an interview with Regis, they’re done for the day, just like that, and Mom is giving them their Christmas ornaments in the car on the drive back home. It’s something she’s done since they were little, to help them remember something important that happened that year when they decorate the tree. Joe opens his box to find a llama that she’s attached a pair of sunglasses to and is laughing so hard he’s almost crying.

Frankie wants them all to put their pajamas back on inside out so it'll snow even if that makes absolutely no sense. But they do it, because he's the baby and once he gets too old for things, it means they're all really too old for them. Hopefully Kevin will have had some kids by the time Frankie's too cool for Christmas. 

Dad takes out the video camera to record them doling out presents, “because it’s just as important now as when you were kids” and Joe knows they're going to end up with the same footage as every year, but that's nice, the consistency.

The rules are that Mom gets to go first, and if she opens a gift from someone in the room, it’s their turn next. If they’re not, she gets to pick. She opens a sweater from Danielle, who gets to see the handbag Kevin got her, and then Kevin’s looking at the cuff links that Joe picked out for him. “You’ve got to have something nice to wear to the wedding, right?” Joe says, and he winds up caught in a hug between Kevin and Mom, barely able to breathe.

“That was really sweet, Joe” Danielle says, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, and Joe tries to keep the good spirit thing going. He picks up the gift from his pile that’s wrapped in comic strips, figuring it must be from Frankie, who is nearly dying in agony over the fact that he hasn’t been able to open the oversized box with his name on it yet. But Joe’s already started tearing the tape off when he sees Demi’s signature over the kids of “Family Circus” instead of Frankie's. 

Inside is that Asian egg timer man and Joe's heart does that stupid thing where it seems to stop for a second.

“What is it?” Nick wants to know, and Joe just holds it up, not really sure what to say. “I don’t get it, you don’t even know how to make toast, what are you going to do with that?”

“I can make toast.”

Frankie butts in to add, “You only think you can make toast because you like it burnt.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m only picking you to go next because I’m so full of the Christmas spirit, Frank. Otherwise you’d be in a headlock for that toast comment. Get at the package,” which Joe knows holds a new snare for his drum set. “I just have to call Demi to thank her.”

He steps into the kitchen, where his mom already has sauce going on the stove and a ham in the oven. Dialing Demi’s number, he feels almost as if he can’t breathe, which is like, come on man, get your shit together; you’re just calling your friend who gave you an awesome Christmas present. Demi doesn’t pick up though, so he leaves her a stupid voicemail that he thinks he said thank you in about five times before he hung up and Merry Christmas twice. Oh, and also that he wasn’t sure that the new leather jacket he got for her stacked up against her gift, which kind of sucks because he had thought it would have been perfect.

Back in the living room, his dad is opening the picture frame made out of guitar picks from Frankie and Danielle puts a bow in Kevin's hair and Nick's the only one looking at him like maybe he wants to know what he said on the phone.

So Joe throws a wad of wrapping paper at him and keeps shoving mom's cookies in his face until she tells him not to talk with his mouth full like she raised him in a barn, and by then Nick's moved on and leaves him alone.

****

Once the holidays are over, things go back to normal. Or normal for them, where they're spending almost all of their time on the lot shooting _JONAS_ or in the studio working on tracks. The shooting is awesome, because for some reason _Sonny_ and _Wizards_ are all shooting at the same time, and it's kind of like a version of high school if he squints. Especially if he stays in wardrobe to go grab lunch in the commissary. It's kind of like being in the cafeteria at the cool kid's table, while the girls talk about the wardrobe choices on _American Idol_ and he builds food structures with David Henrie. Like he's in school and not at work, and it's stupid, but he appreciates it anyway.

The studio is less good, because of course Kevin and Nick are writing all these sorts of upbeat and happy love songs, and they're kind of constantly looking at him to edge it up a little bit. Write a break-up song about Camilla, angst about being lonely, that kind of thing. And all he can come up with is these whiny, girly lyrics about unrequited affection that are not in any way going to help this next album transition them into getting recognized as legitimate.

So he tries to enjoy the days on set, running around taking pictures with Chelsea or riding in the golf carts with Demi and Tiffany. Goofing off, basically, and that's good for awhile too, until Joe starts to realize that he's horny. Like, all the time. And he knows he should pray about it and not jerk off in the shower, and before he goes to sleep at night, and sometimes even in the bathroom on set, but it's almost like if he doesn't do it, he's never going to be able to get through the day.

It's happened before, and it's not really that big of a deal. It's just that the last time he was a lot younger and it wasn't just about one girl. It was kind of about all girls, or things related to girls, or just thinking about the word girl. 

And now, well now it's about Demi.

All because one day after work she wanted him to go to Urban Outfitters with her to find something to wear to this sleepover themed party Nicole was throwing for the girls, and she kept trying things on, passing him out t-shirts and boxer shorts and even this silk slip that were still warm from her body. And the whole time he couldn't help but catch glimpses of the navy blue bra she had on and he knows that a bra is no different than a bikini top, and that he's seen her during costume changes and wearing pajamas and all these things, but it felt different.

 _He_ felt different about seeing it.

So he made up some excuse about forgetting that he told Nick he'd meet up with him to go to the batting cages when she asks him if he wants to grab some dinner since they're out, and he hates lying to her, but he also hates pretending like nothing's going on. And he'd thought about calling Nick, and going to the batting cages anyway, so he wouldn't feel like such a piece of shit, but Nick had been really busy trying to help Miley edit some new tracks. 

Instead he went home and thought about the way her bra looked underneath that one sheer slip and kept thinking about it, and a few weeks later, here he is, still trying not to do it.

Things were supposed to get easier once they got back to L.A. She was supposed to go back to being just his friend and he was supposed to get over it. And yet he's spending most of his time with his hand down his pants attempting not to look at pictures of her, or watch her on TV or listen to any of her songs. But there's one photo in particular that he can't help but picture in his mind, even when he's working at not doing it; this shot of her that he took one night back what feels like forever ago when she was still opening for them, and she's all flushed and laughing and just so in that moment that it was gorgeous even before he started thinking about her this way.

He still hangs out with her most of the time, because he thinks the only way out would be admitting to her all the reasons he shouldn't, and that's not even an option. Sometimes it's weird, or she seems different, and he just figures that's probably because he's just done something creepy or out of the ordinary and she has no idea how to respond to it. But usually it's just fun and good, and Joe can't help feeling jazzed whenever she calls with plans like he's the protagonist in one of Taylor's songs or something else that level of lame.

Which is why Joe's in her trailer one afternoon, trying to help her create a playlist for jogging, when she says, "Tiffany was asking about you today. I think she likes you."

"Really?" Tiffany's cool and everything, and definitely super cute, but she's not Demi and apparently that's all that he cares about at the moment. "That's...I don't know what that is."

"Is she not your type?" It's moments like this that he really wishes he'd grown up with at least one sister because there's something about her tone that he thinks is suggesting something, but he can't really pinpoint what.

"No, I think she's awesome, but I just don't know if I can handle a girl liking me right now." Because, really, he can't. His brain is barely managing to fire properly thinking about Demi, there's no way he can add Tiffany, or anyone else into the mix.

"Oh," she says like she's disappointed. "I get it. That's cool."

"You think she'll be mad?"

"I don't think she could get mad at you just because you're not interested."

"I didn't say not interested. I said crazy."

"You didn't say crazy either."

"Alright, well, I meant it."

She picks up her phone and asks him, "Do you mind if I kick you out, so I can make a call? I'm sorry, I just, need to do this, I totally spaced," even though the playlist only has four tracks on it.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll talk to you later," he says, closing her laptop, feeling like it was wrong to be honest.

"Thanks, Joe. Later, I promise!" She closes the door behind him when he leaves and he wonders if she's calling Tiffany right then to break the news, or Selena to figure out how to go about doing that.

He still has at least a half hour before he's due back on set, and he wishes he could say he used that time for something tasteful.

****

Months ago, Joe put together a list of things they could do for Kevin's bachelor party. They were all awesome, ranging from Vegas to box seats at a baseball game to yachting in the Caribbean. That last one was really Joe's number one choice because a) it's yachting in the Caribbean and b) it would sort of be like they were pirates. But all Kevin wanted to do was go to the driving range and get a steak. Like, even if they had never made it beyond playing middle school assemblies that would be the lamest bachelor party ever. Which he told Kevin. Repeatedly. But, Kevin keeps talking about wanting to keep things low key, and how it's most important that they just get to have a good time together, and how it doesn't really matter, as it's not like he's going to stop seeing them after he gets married.

So, Joe books the driving range and makes reservation at Mastro's, but maybe also calls around to see what bands will be in town. Just to check.

****

Joe hasn't been looking forward to Valentine's Day just because it's been a constant reminder for weeks now that he's alone and no one else on the planet is. Well, except for Demi, and that's almost worse than if she had a boyfriend. Today anyway. Yesterday, it had kind of felt like that was a sign from the universe to just spill his guts already. And the day before he'd wanted to punch the random extra who was flirting with her on set, so who even knows.

It doesn't help that Camilla was frenching the hell out of some underwear model in Rome a few days ago either. He hadn't expected to care about that, but it was still not something he wanted to deal with so soon. Even if by soon, he means months after they broke it off. She’d even called to tell him that the pictures might be released, which she clearly didn’t have to do, but, he was still pissed about the whole situation.

February has to be the stupidest month. 

But then his mom cooked red pancakes for breakfast, and she's got this stupid pin on that he thinks Kevin made in like second grade out of pink pom poms and Joe felt bad acting like a jerk. He ate the pancakes and helped Frankie do the dishes even though he didn't have to, and then killed rest of the day hiding out in his room messing around on the internet.

Eventually he got bored reading reviews of _Alice in Wonderland_ and watching YouTube, so he went back to the kitchen and now he hates the day all over again. Danielle's over and their dad's just letting her sit on Kevin's lap like it's totally normal and not kind of inappropriate and Nick's holding hands with Miley and so Joe's yelling, "Guys, come on, this is the kitchen! I have to eat here! You're gross."

Nick says, “Call Demi so you can roll your eyes at each other and leave the rest of us alone."

"Joe, do it! I miss her face and I know she'd love to see you. Also Happy Valentine’s Day!” Miley says, practically tossing herself at him, but managing not to spill any of her conversation hearts. “Plus did you know you have the best brother in like the whole world? Seriously, even if he's being mean to you right now.”

“What’d he buy you?” Joe says with a knowing smile on his face.

“Well he bought me these hearts, but Joe, he’s going to take me out to dinner!”

“You guys are going out to eat? In public? On Valentine’s Day?” The tone of his voice is definitely getting more incredulous with every question.

“You sound like Dad," who Joe can see is not that in love with the idea. "But I figured, why not? Give the paparazzi something to make a little money on in honor of the holiday.” And it's insane, but he actually looks like he's enjoying the possibility. They haven't been seen out together, just the two of them, in all this time and Joe knows this is a huge thing, especially on the most romantic day of the year. A dinner on Valentine's Day after taking Noah and Frankie on play dates and picking up Jamba Juice with him. No wonder Miley is this happy.

"That's awesome for you guys. Enjoy it," and he means it, despite his jealousy. 

Kevin, who apparently is spending the night surfing for honeymoon destinations online with Danielle like they're already lame married people, says, "And hope you don't get bum rushed trying to get into the restaurant."

"Don't ruin his night, they'll have fun," Mom responds, lightly tapping his shoulder. "I can still remember the boy who took me out for Valentine's Day when I was 17."

Dad says, "Of course you can, he's sitting right here," and Mom's leaning down to kiss him while Joe's walking out of the kitchen, yelling into his phone, "Demi, I need reinforcements, everyone in my house loves one another, and they're making it clear."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Come over and help me. Please! Danielle is rubbing the back of Kevin's neck right now, you have no idea."

"Tell me I'm your valentine and I'll come." 

His Demi-induced asthma kicks in right on schedule. "Excuse me?" he manages to squeeze out, his heart going double time wondering if she has any idea what she's doing right now.

"Tell me I'm your valentine and I'll come over."

"I'm not going to tell you that." 

"Why not?" She's doing that stupid pout-y voice. "Am I not good enough to be your valentine?"

He can't take this tonight, he really can't. "Lovato, we are moments away from me hanging up."

"Geez, you're sensitive tonight. I was just joking around. You're such a girl sometimes."

"You're the girl, you wanted a special someone for Valentine's Day."

"Well, I happen to in fact be a girl, so nice comeback. Really well executed," and she's laughing in his ear.

"I hate you, just get over here already."

"You love it." Thankfully she's hung up before he stutters out this breathy, "Yeah". That would have been embarrassing.

****

They end up watching _Almost Famous_ , because she pulls it out of his DVDs saying she's in the mood for it, and he doesn't even know the last time he's watched it. If his mother came in, she'd tell him to turn the lights back on, but she's at some classical concert with Dad. So they lay on the couch in the dark, head to head, while Elvis snores on the floor. 

William gets into the inner circle but doesn't get his interview, and Penny is making everyone fall in love with her and the whole time, he and Demi aren't saying anything to one another. It's not weird quiet, just quiet. They eat the popcorn she brought over and their hands don't intertwine amongst the kernels. 

Half paying attention, somehow before he knows it, Russell's at the party and obsessed with how real everything and everyone is, and Joe gets it. Even without being drunk or on tour or in Kansas, he gets it. And he feels like he's going to say it out loud, after all this time. To break the silence with something meaningful. This is the perfect set up to tell the perfect person about how he loves what they do, loves it more than he's ever loved anything else, but that there are times when he'd like to just be Joe, the 20 year old kid. But when he goes to do it, her fingers stroke down his arm that's hanging off the couch. Joe doesn't think she means it, just that she overshot reaching for her drink because she pulls back to grab the glass, but it's like all of his anxious anticipation from the night has rendered him mute. He manages not to clear his throat, and the moment sort of passes as "Tiny Dancer" starts to play. She sighs and says, "I love this movie. Every time I love it."

He makes some affirmative noise and eats more popcorn.

****

Once the dinner date went mostly okay for Nick and Miley, other than the fact that some photographer pushed the hostess and the manager called the police to press assault charges, they start going out more and more frequently. The blogs are having a field day with it, like this is the only thing they've ever wanted to happen, and Nick seems to just find it hilarious. "I gave her a lick of my ice cream, Joe, and there was an actual audible gasp of joy."

"It was amazing, you should both go with us next time," Miley says as she passes Demi a bottle of water from the fridge. Nick said he just needed to swing by to drop off a jacket that Miley left in his car last night, but Demi was over and they've been here for nearly an hour. Joe has no idea why.

"They're just going to post that Joe and I are dating if we do that," she says, while peeling the label on the bottle.

"So what would be so bad about that?" Miley wants to know, and Joe's really waiting for her answer.

"Um, you know, the fact that we're not?" That's actually not that bad of a response. At least she didn't say he was gross, or like her brother, or no way _alternative_ enough or whatever.

"But it would be so much fun! Look how much fun we're having right now." Miley nudges Demi with her shoulder and he can tell from the way they're looking at one another that there's a whole unconscious girl conversation happening in addition to the one that's occurring out loud.

"We're hanging out in your kitchen, Miley," Demi says.

"It's a fun time hanging out here though, right? You know that it is."

"Miles," Nick says, just her name, but she comes and sits down next to him, totally changing the topic to how she's trying to teach Sophie to catch a Frisbee. Demi glances at him and kind of rolls her eyes, and he doesn't know what that means.

****

Whenever they talked about Kevin's wedding it was always something out there, way in the future, and not possibly something that Joe needed to worry about immediately. Until somehow it's June and the wedding is happening in a week.

They've been insanely busy finishing and promoting the new album, which is supposed to drop as soon as Kevin gets back from touring Italy with Danielle and then there's all the preparing to do the same for _Camp Rock 2_ , but Joe still can't believe it's here already. It doesn't help that his mother is reminiscing more and more as the date approaches. Remembering Kevin's first steps, and his school play and when he used to sing in church. It's like no one can believe Kevin grew into a man at some point.

Except for Dad, who keeps pulling Kevin aside for these chats about who knows what. Kevin won't tell him. He says it will only ruin the surprise when Joe's turn comes around, but Joe can't help but think that's going to be different.

Kevin's smiling all the time now, like every day is the one he got engaged all over again. The florist doesn't think the flowers are going to make it in from the Bahamas and he's grinning. There're still way too many people that haven't RSVP'ed and Kevin's just glowing anyway. It's weird, like he's turned up to 11 and never coming back down. 

For example, right now they're on their way to the driving range and Kevin is actually wearing the ridiculous outfit Joe picked out for him and he seems downright delighted. The ensemble is nuts, really. Kev looks like some old man off to the links, with these argyle shorts on up to his knees and a sweater the color of new ducks and even the doofy hat with the pom-pom on top that Joe himself had kind of been planning and hoping to wear. The thing had started out as a gag, and yet here Kevin is, loving every moment, and thanking Joe, and posing for the paparazzi when they get out of the car to collect John Taylor.

"I thought we were going golfing, not to a costume party! Did I miss a tweet?" he wants to know, clasping Kevin's hand and pulling him in for a hug.

"Joe thought I should wear it. It's hilarious!"

"It's something."

"It's my own version of going wild and crazy on one of my last nights a single man," Kevin says, angling the hat even more over his curls.

"You haven't been single in forever," Joe says, trying to grab the hat by the pom-pom. "And I don't think you know what the definition of wild and crazy is either."

"Oh, you'll see. I could have written those entries in the dictionary myself."

****

Ok, not that it's a surprise, but Kevin really couldn't have. Apparently he thinks that doing dizzy bats with the clubs is amazing. He's a man possessed, honestly, and he even got Dad to do it once! Ryan looks like he's going to puke if Kevin makes him do it again. And Nick is hating it because he keeps losing. That part's actually okay for right now because Joe 's finding it kind of funny but within a few more minutes Nick's just going to lose his shit and the appeal will be totally lost. 

"Kevin, don't you think it's enough? Maybe?" Joe says, rubbing the mark he's sure he's still got on his forehead from balancing on the top of the club.

"One more, come on, one more!" 

And maybe this is Kevin's day, but there is no chance in hell any of them are going to do one more. "You can forget it, Kev. New plan. We need a new plan." Joe's looking to all of them, but most specifically Nick because Nick's got to have something in mind that will sound like fun to begin with and deteriorate into a ridiculous amount of competition. It is maybe the only thing Nick loves more than music. And Joe knows his brother because he says, "Hit contest. Most shots off the cart wins."

****

Joe's team's in the lead. Really kicking ass. Nick's losing his mind. It's awesome. This is so awesome. Joe is almost kind of wishing that hitting a cart with golf balls was an Olympic event. Until his phone vibrates right in the middle of his stroke and he misses his first shot. Nick's whooping and Ryan wants to know why he can't be a professional, especially when it's this important. His phone vibrates again, and he pulls it out to see it's Demi.

"You just blew my team's odds at this hit contest. Hope you're happy." He's actually not, happy, that is, and it's weird to still be annoyed while talking to her. Maybe he and Nick share the competitive edge more than he thought. He starts walking back towards the clubhouse, ignoring everyone who is yelling after him.

And she apparently doesn't care that much for his tone because hers is decidedly bitchy. "I am not interested in your stupid hit contest, Joe. Do I need to call my stylist or not?"

"How on earth could I answer that question for you?"

"You could answer it by telling me if you guys are seeing John Mayer tonight or not."

"Keep your voice down!"

"Please do not tell me you're stupid enough to have me on speakerphone while you have a potential secret like this brewing?"

"No, you're not on speaker. I'm not a total idiot," He keeps talking because he can tell she's just dying to butt in and list all the ways he is in fact an idiot. "But, sorry, it's boys only tonight. That's the point. Plus, you're being kind of terrible so I wouldn't want to hang out with you anyway." He had planned on saying it with some venom behind it, but it comes out more like ribbing. Apparently he's over losing.

"But I'm Kevin's friend! I deserve to help him transition into married life."

"You just want to see John, admit it."

"Maybe."

"Well, too bad, you're not going with us. And your phone call cost me first place in the contest, so you best be saving up to get me a new camera because that's what I was going to buy as a victory gift."

"You were going to buy yourself a victory present for a random contest that I'm sure you came up with at the last minute?"

"I didn't come up with it at the last minute."

"Joe." There's a _come on_ following his name, she's just not saying it. Joe's starting to think that there's some point during puberty that all of the girls get taken aside and learn how to speak exactly the same way. He can hear his mother coming out of her mouth sometimes and it's weird.

"Alright, it might have been Nick."

She laughs. "I knew it."

"Yeah, you knew it."

"Can I really not come tonight, Joe?" She sounds sad and left out and Joe feels guilty and no longer mad at her.

"Do you really want to?"

"Of course I do!"

"We're going to be at the Willtern at 8. If you want to stop by."

"Thank you, Joseph, you won't regret it."

It turns out that they win anyway because Joe comes back and completely makes up for that one hit she messed up.

****

Kevin thinks that John Taylor just wants to swing by the Willtern to pick up a guitar that someone else brought back from tour and left there for him. That is until they get there and the marquee is announcing a one night special engagement with John Mayer and he absolutely flips. In the good way.

"I thought I told you I didn't want anything big for the bachelor party, Joe!" he says while slapping him right across the chest.

Joe just puts on a big smile and knows Kevin just can't believe his little brother didn't follow his orders explicitly. "You love it, don't you?"

"Of course I love it! It's John Mayer!" When they get out of the car, he keeps hugging him, and hugging Nick and the photographers are loving the displays of affection. Nick is giving a sound byte to some blogger about how they're really happy for Kevin, and how it's nice to take time out from their careers to do things as a family when Joe sees Demi getting out of her car. He takes some pictures with her because it's expected, and it's not like they've never taken a picture, or hundreds of them, before. And she takes them with Nick and Kevin and all three of them together too so he's probably the only person who is hyper aware of the fact that they were posing together.

Inside, before the set starts, Demi holds up one of those little film canisters that used to be all over his freezer until they entered the digital age. "It's not a camera, but I figured it was a start." It's stupid, but Joe feels like he's going to keep it forever.

"It'll do, Lovato."

She places it in his hand. "Thanks for letting me come."

Nick hands her a Coke and Garbo's asking him what he thinks the set list is going to look like and before he knows it, John Mayer's taking the stage and he hasn't said anything else to her. "Daughters" starts up and suddenly Demi's leaning back into him and he's leaning forward into her, and they watch the whole show like that, pressed up next to one another.

If Nick asks about it later he'll just remind him how crowded it was. And probably tell him to shut up because it's not like he's an expert on everything.

****

The morning of the wedding, Joe wishes that things like limos and wearing tuxes and getting their pictures taken felt exciting. It kind of just feels like Saturday.

That is until they get to the church and the flowers finished getting set up since they did the rehearsal last night, and the whole rest of the family is there and he's hit right in the chest with this rush of feelings. Joe can't stop touching the wedding band he has in his pocket and his inner monologue is just, _Kevin's getting married today. Kevin's getting married?_ He feels like he's smiling too big at everyone and that his clothes don't fit right.

Before the ceremony, he has to go in and have Kevin help him with his tie. He can do it now, by himself, finally, after nearly a decade of everyone showing him how, but he just felt like this was important. Necessary. So Kevin stands behind him and ties it even and straight and tight and Joe knows this is the last time this is going to happen. Kevin's always been older, obviously, but this is one of those moments where older means a lot more than born first.

Joe looks at his brother standing behind him in the mirror, and he thinks he could cry. If they were girls, they'd definitely be crying. But, Kevin just tugs the knot one more time and smoothes his hands down over Joe's shoulders and clears his throat because they're men. 

Dad comes in with Nick and Frankie, and they all hold hands and bow their heads and pray that Kevin has a happy marriage and a happy life and that everyone in attendance will be blessed.

Out in the church, Joe pats Kevin on the back when the music starts to play, and then there's Danielle, smiling and glowing and beautiful in white.

The look Kevin gets on his face, it's a kind of happy Joe's never even seen before, but when he notices Demi sitting in the fourth row and she makes a little motion with her fingers that's supposed to be an inconspicuous wave, he thinks at some point, he's felt it.

****

The reception is not as big as Joe had initially thought they were going to go with it, but the food's amazing, and Jordin gets up and sings a cover of "Wonderful Tonight" and he gets to watch Miley force Nick into doing the Chicken Dance. Plus there's the whole incident where Miley caught Danielle's bouquet, even though some of Danielle's friends were clearly desperate for it to be them, and Billy Ray came up, took it out of her hands and threw it out again, saying "There is no way I'm ready for you to be walking down an aisle, even with Nick Jonas," that was maybe Joe's favorite thing to ever happen.

Well, until he's finally done with taking pictures, and making sure that his great aunt got the vegetarian meal she wanted, and telling the DJ to play "Unchained Melody" because his mother loves that song, and he finally gets to share a dance with Demi. Someone, he guesses Nick, requested Ben Folds' "The Luckiest", and just when he's looking around the room for her, she's already standing right next to him. "You wanna dance, Demetria?"

"I would love to." And the way she puts her hand on her shoulder and he slips his arm around to the small of her back, it's like they just fit. Touching Demi with this song playing in the background, he can't help but think how pretty she always looks when she gets dressed up. The way he loves how her hair smells. 

They sway nice and slow and Joe wants it to last a lot longer than he knows it's going to. As the last notes of the song filter out through the ballroom, a voice is coming on over the microphone, asking everyone to please take their seats because it's time for Joe to give the toast.

He wrote out a draft of what he was going to say, a lot of drafts to be honest, but standing up there with everyone's eyes on him, he decides to just kind of wing it. He thinks about how at the ceremony Kevin took off his purity ring and gave it to Danielle along with her wedding band and how it made his mom cried and Dad squeeze her hand really tightly the whole time. The way that Nick and Miley are leaning against one another, and how it felt to hold Demi in his arms. And then he says, "I have never been more jealous of my brother than I am in this moment. Not when he went to prom, or got a new guitar or was able to stay up later than me. And I'm jealous of him tonight because I know for sure that he's found the person he's going to get to spend the rest of his life with, and she's amazing and wants to spend the rest of her life with him too. That's special. Really special," 

He turns to look at his sister, and it's weird to even think that, that he has a sister now, and continues, "Danielle, we're so lucky to have you as part of our family now, and Kevin, you're beyond lucky to have her as part of yours." And there was more after that in his written speech, stuff about how it's shocking Kevin got married for real, and not just because some girl wrote Mrs. Kevin Jonas on a piece of poster board, and how they better make sure to have two master bathrooms so Danielle isn't stuck getting ready without a mirror, but he doesn't want to say any of that stuff anymore, so he doesn't. "Kev, you've been a great big brother, and you're going to be a great husband." Joe can feel like he's getting choked up, so he just raises his glass and says, "To Kevin and Danielle. And their happiness."

The noise of everyone clinking their forks against their glasses is so loud, and he watches Kevin kiss his new wife and today was a really good day.

****

Once the whirlwind over the wedding winds down, they leap right into another one of _CR2_ promotion. And because Kevin's honeymooning, and Nick's trying to visit colleges and prep for the SATs, Joe and Demi wind up doing a lot of it. Today, they're doing an interview with _Access Hollywood_ , and the conversation turns, as it has been doing a lot recently, to his breakup with Camilla, even though that should be such old news by now.

"You and Camilla broke up on set. Is there any truth to the rumors that had something to do with jealousy over your costar, Demi?" 

Joe hates the way the interviewer looks at her when he asks the question and honestly could punch him in the face if that wouldn't be completely inappropriate. Instead, he just gives his usual canned response that he's said so many times before that it almost feels authentic. Like when you've been told a story so many times that you feel like you can remember it happening, even if you really can't. "Camilla and I are young, and not everyone you date is going to be the person you're going to marry. We're still very good friends, and the relationship had just run its course."

"So, Demi? No love interests at the moment?"

She smiles the smile that he knows these guys just love. "Not now, no. I'm just really focusing on having fun with my friends, and working on great projects like the _Camp Rock_ sequel."

"Speaking of the _Camp Rock_ sequel, tell us a little bit about it," he says, like the guy invented this fabulous transition himself. Ugh, Joe just wants to get out of here and go and finally grab lunch.

"Well," Demi starts, "we're all back at camp, except this time Tess' brother, Cory, is there too. He's the new songwriting instructor."

Joe jumps right in, piggybacking off of what she was saying. "And that doesn't really sit great with Shane, as you can imagine. But the new music is great, and the dance numbers are even better than last time around and we're just really excited about the project."

"You two kiss in the new movie, isn't that right?"

"You're just going to have to watch and see. All of you are going to have to," Demi says, still smiling like it's not a big deal, and she even giggles a little at the end.

"You heard it here straight from their mouths, watch _Camp Rock 2_ Saturday, July 10th. Back to you!" and then it's finally done. Joe can actually feel himself loosening up now that the experience is behind him. Until tomorrow when there's a new one to do.

****

July 4th they were all supposed to be together for the Macy's Fireworks. The band, and his family, and Demi, but at the last minute she decides she's going to stay in Texas because they're spending the rest of the week in NYC anyway and Madison really wants her to be home. And since she was only coming to see them play, it's not like she has to, but Joe wanted her to. He reminds himself like he has to do far too often that Demi's not his girlfriend and that she's not doing anything wrong.

They play "Poison Ivy" followed by white and green fireworks and looking at them over the river, Joe can remember shooting the scene with Demi, the explosions reflecting on the lake, and the way that it had felt romantic to the point that he considered himself to be a really good actor.

In his pocket, his Blackberry buzzes, and as soon as they're away from the cameras, he looks at what the text is. Demi wrote him _watchin fireworks n thinkin of u :)_

He responds _how'd you text that be4 i was gonna send u the same 1?_

_Magic!_

And that night, even his mother is asking him why he's in a such a good mood when a few hours ago he was the biggest grump she'd ever seen.

****

Frankie has to be on set that week, Nick's visiting UT Austin, and Kevin and Danielle are trying to close on a house in LA, so everyone flies off from LaGuardia at various points on Monday except him. He was going to hit the gym and do some shopping, and maybe even visit some of his friends from Jersey, but he's just feeling kind of out of sorts so he spends almost the entire day just up in the hotel room. He orders in some movies and leaves a SayNow message about how the movie is coming out in less than a week and keeps checking an app on his phone to see where Demi's flight is.

She gets delayed because of weather, and he falls asleep before the plane even touches down.

****

The next morning, they're both in the car before 6 am, the sky outside turning pink and just lighting up. He's still tired, even though he thinks he slept a lot last night, and can't stop rubbing his eyes.

Today they're filming at the _Today_ show, and _The View_ and Letterman. They're stopping the Times Square _KMart_ to sign copies of the soundtrack, which is dropping, and meeting some contest winners. All in all, it's not that heavy of a day, but Joe is exhausted just thinking about it.

Demi's sitting next to him, already looking made up for the day, and talking away about how she wishes they could be doing more touristy things instead of just appearances. He nods, and agrees, and rubs at the ridge of his forehead. Before they get out of the car, Joe pops some Excedrin hoping it'll wake him up.

****

The Excedrin did work pretty well throughout the day, but by the time they get back to the hotel, he's dragging. Beyond dragging. However, when Demi asks if she can watch Letterman in his room, he says yes. He doesn't even think of saying no, it's so stupid.

They order room service, but they're both just picking at their meals more than anything else. It's already after nine, and he's not all that into the grilled cheese he spent all day thinking about.

"I'm going to shower, you want to shower?" he asks her, sliding slowly away from the table, but she replies, "If I wet this hair after what Gina had to do to it this morning to get it looking like this, she will murderball me."

"Try not to stink my room up too much while I'm gone," he says, grabbing some pajamas from his suitcase.

"Can I bum some of those? It will help me not smell so horribly."

"You're lucky you're pretty," as he throws a sweatshirt and some flannel bottoms in her general direction.

"Thank you, Joseph. Such a gentleman."

In the shower, he leans his head up against the tile wall and lets the hot water cascade through his hair. Down his back. It's hot, and it feels incredible and there's a few moments that he feels vaguely like a person again. Any other night, thinking about Demi changing in the other room with the sound of the shower covering up any sounds that he might be making, he knows he'd be getting off. But he doesn't even have the strength and there's a quick moment where that scares him. But then he realizes that there's nothing really wrong with deciding not to masturbate to an image of your best friend.

He turns off the water and halfheartedly dries off before taking his contacts out. His eyes stop feeling like they’re full of sand and glass after he does, so that’s good. And the t-shirt and sweatpants he puts on are cool from sitting on top of the AC vent. 

Demi's playing Lemonade Stand on her phone when he comes back in the room, sitting on his bed Indian-style with bare feet. She has the news on in the background, and apparently a delicatessen was robbed with shots fired. "How was the shower?"

"Pretty fantastic," he says, laying down, curving himself towards her. "How's the stand?"

"I changed my recipe and now no one wants to buy it anymore."

"Bummer." 

Joe's wondering if he’s maybe even too tired to go to sleep when she says, “Also, I realized when I put these pants on, that I think you occasionally wear smaller clothes than I do and I don’t know how to feel about that.”

He wonders how she can feel anything but exhausted and kind of fuzzy around the edges. "They must have shrunk," he kind of mumbles.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay,” but he yawns in the middle of it.

She puts her phone down and pushes around his hair. It feels nice. “You did great today. It’s alright to get into bed.”

"But, the show..."

"Will be on YouTube less than an hour after it airs."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I know we were going to hang tonight."

"We'll just have a slumber party instead," Demi says, flicking off the lights and lowering the volume on the TV. "I mean, if it's okay that I stay."

"It's okay." And tonight, that's it, it's just okay, because that's all he can muster the energy for.

They climb in under the comforter, the room all vaguely blue and muted in the glow of the television. She's still not even lying down when he's closed his eyes and fallen asleep.

****

He wakes up at like 3 in the morning to the sound of “If I Were a Boy” coming from her cell phone. Joe seriously can’t believe that’s still her ringtone. “Hey, what’s going on?” he whispers, even though they're both awake.

She’s sitting at the corner of the bed putting her boots on over her pajama pants. His pants. “Sorry, Joe. Oh shit, sorry. Did the alarm wake you? Go back to sleep.”

“Where are you going?” he asks her, pulling himself up to sitting against the headboard.

Demi finishes with the boots and slips her phone into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. “I’ve got to get back to my room or my mother’s going to flip when I’m not there for her to wake up.” 

“Good point.”

He's just sitting there in bed, watching her move around in the darkness when she comes over and kisses him square on the mouth. It's the first time she's done that without someone telling her to and it's so shocking that he almost feels he imagined it. “You’re exhausted, close your eyes.”

"Dem," he says, trying to pull her back in, but she's brushing his hair back with her hand and heading for the door.

"Go back to sleep," she whispers when she's just a silhouette in the light from the hallway. He can't even see her face.

And then she's gone, and he imagined that he was going to lay there until sun up, but he must fall back asleep because a little while later his own alarm is going off and he wakes up from a dream that they were on a rollercoaster.

****

That morning she's got some event with the Girl Scouts and he's doing a PLJ radio interview. He likes Scott and Todd and is trying to muster some enthusiasm for the interview because of that, but he's out of Excedrin, and the Tylenol the concierge had doesn't seem to be cutting it.

Plus he can't stop thinking about the fact that Demi kissed him last night and how he didn't even do anything back. After months of thinking about her, she finally kisses him and he sits there with morning breath like a jackass. Things are not coming up Joe.

So, while waiting in the green room for Brad Blank's segment to finish, he's trying to think of something to text to Demi. _i want to make out with you all afternoon_ or _kissing you again is all i'm thinkin about_ but settles on _i want my sweatshirt back_. It seems like the best choice.

She replies _im keeping it_ and then quickly after _smells like you_.

It's a burst of energy that gets him through the entire on air portion.

****

She meets up with him later at Z100 so they can chat on air with he thinks Shelley Wade, and the first words out of her mouth, "You're still looking kind of wrecked."

"Why thank you, Demetria, but I seem to recall someone waking me up in the middle of the night. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah, about that..." and he thinks they're going to talk about it, the kiss and how he wishes he could remember what sleeping in bed with her felt like, and all of it, but someone is coming in and telling them they're ready to go on air.

She basically rules the interview, and he only chimes in when they ask him something directly. He's sure his publicist is going to have something to say about it, but it's really like his fifth priority at the moment.

****

In the car on their way to do a meet and greet at the Disney store in Staten Island, Joe once again feels like he can't keep his eyes open after they go through the Battery Tunnel. It's kind of getting ridiculous. He has no idea the last time he was this wiped.

"You can't tell me you're tired again. You're turning into an old man, Jonas." 

"Maybe I am because it's freezing in here." He tries to pull his hands inside his jacket, but there's no extra room in the sleeves.

She looks at the rear controls they have and says, "The AC's barely on. I know I keep asking you this, but are you sure you're okay? I mean, seriously."

"I feel like you're always asking me if I'm okay.” He tries to smile, which is exactly the same thing he does when his mom starts to notice that maybe something isn't as right as it should be. “I'm just worn out. We'll be done with promotion soon, and then I'll get a break. Don't worry."

She doesn't look all that comforted, but he can tell she's trying not to nag him. "Well why don't you lie down at least, because there are going to be a lot of girls that want to see your bouncy energy." She doesn't specify where he should be doing this lying down, so he chooses her lap. He's not going to pass up any other opportunities if he can help it. And it clearly was an opportunity, because Demi starts running her fingers through his hair, just like last night, although now it's filled with too much product he knows she hates to touch. Apparently, he's looking even worse than he thought. Or she just wants to. 

It's soothing and comfortable and he sighs and maybe nuzzles her thigh. 

Until her hand reaches the back of his neck and she lets out a little gasp. "Joe, you're like burning up."

"Burning up for you, baby," he speaks into the denim of her jeans.

"God, you're a dumbass sometimes."

****

Turns out he has a pretty major sinus infection, and that's why he's been feeling like shit by the end of the day. His mother wants to fly out like he's dying or something when he calls her with the news. As though he couldn't possibly figure out how at 20 to take some pills and a nap. Eventually, after almost a half hour, he convinces her that Mrs. Lovato will call if anything gets worse, and that Demi will ensure he's not running himself too ragged.  
They put him on antibiotics and Demi doesn't kiss him again.

****

Friday night, they have the premiere back in L.A. and that whole afternoon his mother keeps feeling his forehead and checking to see if his eyes are glassy, but he's honestly been feeling better since he got his meds the other day. Well, with the exception of the flight home that he mostly spent in pain, lying in the aisle and trying not to breakdown in front of Demi. She sat with him, and rubbed his back and eventually they landed and it became just another thing they didn't talk about after the fact. Otherwise though, he's been good, and his mother finally agrees that he can go, like he really needed her permission.

He walks the red carpet with his brothers and Demi, and Joe feels like everyone can tell he's been thinking about a kiss that was barely a kiss from days ago when he was half-asleep. Like it has to be written all over this face because it's the only thing he can think about. He's holding on to her, both because he wants to, and because they're the main couple of this movie and they're supposed to. And he started out with his hand around her waist, and it felt normal and comfortable and _right_ until he started wondering if it looked too familiar. Like he was doing it because he's thought about her naked and not because she's a really good friend. So, he lets go, and she looks at him like she's done something wrong and it's horrible. It's just plain horrible.

He tries to get his arm back around her, but he accidentally brushes her ass and he can see the little tremor of shock pass over her face. 

They're still not anywhere near the entrance to the theater.

The photographers ask them to smile, tell Demi she looks gorgeous in her green dress (and she does) and ask Joe questions he doesn't know the answers to.

****

Joe knows why to the outside world it already looks like he's dating Demi, and it's because whenever they're out en masse, it's Kevin with Danielle and Nick with Miley and him with Demi. Even if it doesn't mean anything. To her anyway. So it's no shock at all that he's sitting next to her in the theater. They just are.

Matt introduces the film, and introduces them, and they all stand up one at a time to the applause. Then the lights come down, and the Disney logo is appearing on the screen and Joe hopes the movie's good. That his acting's better than the last time around, and that they get the ratings they need, and that he's not going to have to be telling Rolling Stone in a few months that sometimes bad things have to happen in life to help you better appreciate those things that are good.

When they get to the first kissing scene, Demi grabs his hand and squeezes it in a way that he doesn't know what it means. But he squeezes back, and her teeth look so white when she smiles.

****

After the showing, there's a party at some swim club, and like _It's a Wonderful Life_ they've put a floor over the pool, but this time it's made of glass, and there's all sorts of lights strung in the water. It's beautiful, and the music is awesome, and he feels light and happy and good. Just good. 

At the end of the movie, the theater burst into applause, and Joe doesn't care that the people in attendance would have applauded regardless. It sounded like the applause of people who liked something. And he thought they all did a fabulous job, and the album is selling well and tonight he's just going to enjoy himself.

He dances with all the girls, in between taking phone calls from his mother that yes, he's fine, and yes, he'll come home if he's not feeling up for it, and geez, no wonder Nick is so bent out of shape about things all the time, it's super annoying. But he only does slow dances with Demi. And after watching themselves kiss on screen, and thinking about them kissing for real, and remembering all the times that they've been dressed up together before, he just really wants something to come to a head tonight. And when she puts her head on his shoulder during one of the songs, he doesn't just want it, it's decided.

When the party wraps up, long after Kevin and Danielle had already gone home, Joe's pleading with Demi to just come back to their place first so she can come out with him. "I need a burger so badly, we have to go. Please? I don't want the night to be over yet." 

"Maybe some of us are tired, Joe," Nick says, and clearly he's talking about Miley who is almost asleep on him.

"Like I was talking to you, Nicky. Demi, you're not tired, are you?"

"I'm not, but shouldn't you be resting?"

"Alright, you did an excellent job mothering me while we were in New York, and thank you for that, but I hope you enjoyed it then because that ship has sailed. Burgers, or no burgers?"

"Ok, burgers."

Back at home, they both just jump in his car and he starts driving like they're heading to In N' Out. Except that's not really part of the plan at all. "Demi, I have a confession to make," he says, a little guiltily. "We're not actually going to get food."

"Are you kidnapping me, Jonas? What are we doing?"

He pulls over to the curb and unbuckles his seatbelt to look at her. "The other night, at the hotel. Did you mean to do that?"

"You mean the kiss?"

"Yes, the kiss."

"I did," and he loves that she blushes just a little.

"Good, because I mean to do this." He leans in and kisses her, really kisses her. Kisses her like he's been dreaming about doing for so long now, and the way she kisses him back, it's like, I can't believe you waited. She puts her hands in his hair and he holds onto her waist, and it's maybe better than he imagined.

Demi's mouth is warm, and they both can't stop laughing.

****

The weeks following he feels like he's floating on a cloud. The movie gets bigger numbers than the first _High School Musical_ and that's okay, they didn't need to break any records, just be respectable. The album holds steady at #1 for awhile, on both iTunes and the actual chats. And there's the whole Demi and he regularly have been making out thing. That's been nice. Or the greatest thing ever. One of those two.

They'd hung out, and held hands, and talked about how if either one of them had any balls about the situation they would have been doing this for months. How it finally happened because that night when she accidentally woke him up he just looked so precious and half asleep that she couldn't stop herself anymore. That in that one moment, she didn't even think about it, she just acted. And she tells him what's funny is that it was like the first time she wasn't thinking about it, and that must be how it happened. The added bonus to that is that Joe was right all along, that sometimes it pays to not be smart about things. With the other added bonus of the fact that he and Demi each got a new watch from Nick and Miley with a card reading _It's About Time!_ Ok, the watches were probably only from Miley, but signed from both of them.

And today it's his birthday. The big 2-1. And it's so backwards, but the thing he was looking forward to most was eating his mom's lasagna with the family. There's no one else on the planet except celebrities, and maybe someone who recovered from a devastating illness, who puts family dinner at the top of their 21st birthday list. But he does. And Kevin comes over, and Demi's already there, and they all sit around and talk about what's going on in their lives. About how it almost seems like a miracle to his father that he's lived this long. His mother brings out the cake that he knows she spent most of the afternoon icing, and he's just really happy. So happy that he kisses Demi right at the table, and maybe because it's his birthday, no one even comments.

Right around the time that the girls are clearing the table, the doorbell's ringing, and Garbo's at the door saying they're taking him hostage because this is America, and if he doesn't go out on his birthday to buy a drink, it's a tragedy. And Joe tries to fight him on it, saying that Demi's here, and that he's not going to drink even if he buys one, but somehow between Garbo and Kevin and John and everyone else that's waiting out in the driveway, they get him on his way to the bar.

When they get there, Joe walks straight up to the bar, orders a beer and then gives it to Garbo as soon as it arrives. He makes Ryan tape the whole thing on his phone and send it as a Twitter vid so no one thinks he drank it. It's not really the time for a backlash about how he's a bad role model or anything like that. Especially because it's only a matter of time before the fact that he's not single leaks all over the media. And even if he's not going to drink, they're making him hang out for a little while. 

He has missed seeing the guys, so he gets a soda, and they hang out in a booth and talk about the past tours and the upcoming mini-tour they're doing of Asia early next year. It's great, don't get him wrong, and it's nice to be included in this thing that he's been excluded from for most of his life up until this point, but all he really wants to be doing is spending tonight with Nick and Demi. Who are the ones getting excluded this time around. He knows they're just home watching _30 Rock_ on DVD because Demi's still trying to get them to love the show as much as she does, but he really wants to be there.

He stays for an hour, and even then they're trying to get him to stay, ordering another round and everything, but he says he has to get going, and finally they let him back out to the parking lot. And it's the weirdest thing, but on the way home all he can think about is how he bought a beer tonight and couldn't even drink it in case TMZ was watching. How for the same reason he's rushing home to see Demi and Nick, because it would be a giant scandal if they were somewhere underage. So he stops at a liquor store that's semi out of the way and picks up a bottle of champagne because he's 21 and he's seen the world but he's never been to a school dance or graduation and he just wants to do something that every other kid his age does.

Walking into the house with the paper bag, he feels so on edge about getting caught, but it looks like his parents and Frankie have already gone to bed. The house is mostly dark, and he was right, Demi and Nick are just sitting in the basement watching Liz Lemon wolf her teamster sub. "Hey, how was the bar?" Nick asks halfheartedly without even turning around.

"Yeah? Did you have a good time?" Demi wants to know, patting the couch cushion next to her. "What's in the bag?"

"Well, I just figured if you guys couldn't come to the bar," He slips the champagne bottle out of the bag. "I'd bring the bar to you."

"Where did you get that?!" Demi wants to know.

"From a store, where else would it be from? Have a drink with me."

"I don't think this is a great idea," Nick says, hitting pause on the DVD. 

"Nick, come on, Jesus drank wine. In fact, he even made himself into wine, so he's got to love it."

"Dad's going to kill you if he finds out."

"And that's why he's not going to." Joe pops the cork right into his palm, and drinks the overflow from the bottle. "If no one wants to join, that's okay. I'm not going to peer pressure you or anything."

"I think I'm in," Demi says. "At least a little."

"Well, have fun with that, guys, I'm going to bed."

"You sure, Nicky?" Joe asks, passing the bottle to Demi, and feeling bad. “You can stay even if you don’t drink.”

"Nah, it’s fine. Demi, make sure he behaves and happy birthday, big brother." Nick slaps him on the back before heading towards the stairs and flicking the lights out.

"I can't believe you bought champagne, Joe. What were you thinking?"

"Dem, I just wanted to do something normal for a change."

"Well, we'll see what we can do about that."

They watch the rest of the episode that was on before, and the one that comes after it to close out the season, and the whole time they're cuddling on the couch and drinking the champagne. Joe starts to feel warm and loose and a little bit silly, and he likes it. And from the way Demi giggles every time they say the words "gay bomb" he's guessing she feels the same way.

When the DVD goes back to the menu, she turns to him and says, "Normal kids make out when they're alone in dark basements. Might you like to try that on for normalcy’s sake?"

"I love the way you think."

She climbs into his lap, and they make out there in the glow of the television. Her mouth tasting bittersweet with that bite of champagne, and her cheeks warm with the flush of alcohol. And Joe knows he should feel guilty, about all of it, but he doesn't. He feels alive and like everyone else and extremely lucky. And he says that when she stops kissing his mouth, moving instead down his jaw, and to the sweet spot where his neck meets his shoulder that she's found he really likes to be touched.

"I think we're both very lucky," Demi says along his pulse point, and she's right. She's so right.

Demi keeps kissing him, touching him, and he sighs and just lets himself feel all of it. Slips his hands through her hair, and up under her shirt, and listens to all the little sounds she makes. The way she breathes. And he's happy. Happy that's she's here and she's his, and there's nothing else that he thinks he could want. Until she's slipping her mouth over his finger, pulling his ring off with her teeth, and he's groaning while his whole body feels like it's vibrating. "What are you doing?" he whispers, already out of breath.

"Giving you a birthday present." She puts her hands on his thighs and Joe mutters out a, "Christ" while jerking his hips.

"Joseph, don't swear," she says, with a seductive smile and added pressure from her hands. And he's buzzed and it seems maybe about to get a blow job, but she's still reminding him not to curse, and his whole world has gotten a little shifted. They haven't done this yet, in fact, he doesn't even know if she's done it before, but she seems tremendously on board. "Because of that, I'm going to have to take it slow."

Taking it slow seems to mean kissing him languid like they have all the time in the world. Unbuttoning the fly of his jeans only to spend the next two minutes touching his stomach instead. Taking off her own bra and throwing it near her purse so he can see the outline of her nipples through her shirt. But it seems that once she does that, and he latches his mouth on her breast, running his tongue along the fabric of the t-shirt, things start to speed up a little bit. He stares at the darker stripe he's left on the shirt, runs his thumb over it and she sighs. Joe rests his hands on her hips, and pulls her in closer to kiss her again as she threads her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. She's just rocking on top of him, and it's like heaven and torture at the same time, and then seemingly out of nowhere, she stops to toss her head back and moan. The look on her face tells him she's coming, and he almost follows right along with her. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe in slow and even, and not embarrass himself. By the time she leans in again, breathing seeming even quicker compared to his, he thinks the situation's under control. Until she apologizes, saying, "I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to happen," and it looks like she could cry.

"Hey, hey, hey, that was so incredibly hot, you have no idea." And it was. He's so hard he feels like he could burst, but he still puts his hand on her cheek and says, "Are you okay? Do you want to stop?"

"No, I wanted to do it right the first time."

"It was right." He kisses her forehead, and each of her eyelids, "Dem, don't worry, it was right," and finally her mouth. And that one kiss gets a little deeper, until she's slipping off his shirt to make a path down his chest with her tongue. He's sure that he's blushing all the way down his neck when she runs her palm over the rise in his jeans and as she pulls the zipper down, he's gasping. He cares about her so much, and she's gorgeous and special and then before he knows it, she’s pulling him out of his boxer briefs and into her mouth.

He wishes he could say he lasted long enough for it to make an impression on him, but after the champagne and watching her come and just the fact that it's Demi kneeling on the floor between his knees, he can't. He strangles out her name and grabs at her shoulder and comes down the back of her throat before he can even warn her. 

She wipes at her mouth, and then licks her palm, and he's turned on all over again. "Come up here with me," he says, and she slithers in next to him.

"Happy Birthday, Joe," she whispers and he says a "Thank you," into the curve of her neck.

****

Joe wakes up with Demi mostly on top of him, the light of almost afternoon coming in the window, and smiles until he realizes what woke him up. Which was his mother standing at the bottom of the stairs with a load of laundry. And then the first thought he had cycles around again that Demi's still draped on top of him. Shit. This is not good.

"Joseph, I want you to clean this up," Ok, actually, this is heinous because the bottle of champagne is still sitting out on the coffee table with his ring lying next to it, "and maybe it's time for Demi to go home." She's speaking really calmly and Joe knows that he's absolutely screwed. This is her voice for when she's serious, and angry, and just trying to decide how much longer her children are going to be allowed to live. She doesn't use it a lot, and maybe he can do anything legally except rent a car, but it's still terrifying.

He expects her to go back up to the kitchen, but she's just standing there waiting as Demi brushes her hair out of her eyes and tucks her bra a little deeper into her purse. She sneaks past his mom with a quiet, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Jonas," and then Dem's gone. There's no kiss, or grabbing breakfast together. She doesn't even say good-bye to him.

"Once you’re done straightening up, I'd like to talk to you." Still calm sounding, and Joe's dead. Honestly dead. She brings the laundry basket of Frankie's soccer shorts and his dad's jeans and the yellow sheets from their bed back up the stairs and Joe wants to throw up and disappear and call Demi all at the same time.

He tries to take his time rinsing the rest of the bottle down the drain in the slop sink, but the stuff smells stale and nauseating, and it's not like she's going to have entirely forgotten about it if he takes an extra few minutes. Joe looks at his purity ring, still sitting a puddle of spilled champagne and can't put it back on. He slips it into his pocket instead and begrudgingly climbs the stairs.

She's waiting in the kitchen, leaning with her back up against the stove and she looks like she's furious and about to start crying, and this is the worst he's ever felt. Worse than when Nick was in the hospital, or when he's embarrassed himself on stage, or any of it. Joe takes a seat at the table and drops his head so he doesn't have to look at her any more.

"How could you be that disrespectful, Joseph? To your father and me, and to Demi and to yourself? Is this how we raised you? To behave like this?" Alright, he was wrong, this is the worst. Listening to it, and knowing she's right, and only feeling guilty because she found out.

"Are you going to tell Dad?" He doesn't like that it sounds like he's choking on something.

"I don't know yet, but you didn't answer my question."

He thinks he must be a little hungover because all of her words feel like they're bouncing off the inside of his skull, and he just says what he's thinking. "You raised me to make my own choices. And Demi and I didn't do anything the other person didn't want to do." Joe feels like he's being incredibly fresh, but he doesn't mean it that way, even if it's how it sounds.

"That's not the point, Joseph," God, he really wants her to stop using his full name. "You know how we feel about things."

"Yeah, I do know. But I'm 21 years old, and it's maybe time I start feeling my own way about things."

"You've been 21 for barely a day, and I'm still your mother, so you better watch how you speak to me." She's starting to raise her voice, and it's so weird how that makes things feel better.

"Mom, I'm sorry you saw it. And that you're upset by it. But, it happened and that I'm not sorry about."

"Did you have sex with her last night?" His mother's voice is simultaneously asking him to be honest, but to lie to her if necessary, and he's happy he doesn't have to.

"We didn't have sex." He forces himself to meet her eyes even though it makes his entire stomach turn over.

And then she's standing next to him, pulling her towards him and rubbing his shoulder and kissing the top of his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Tolerate me?"

She exhales in this way that lets him know that she's crying and then Dad is walking in with Frankie, and a bag of In 'N Out burgers. Joe's whole body goes tense like he's just been caught all over again, but his mom rubs his arm once more, like she wants him to relax.

"Hey, what's going on? Everything okay?" Dad asks.

"Oh, Joe was just telling me about his night last night and I was realizing that all of my boys are growing up." She lets go and wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. "But, I still got you, right, Frankie?" She's trying to hug him like she was just hugging Joe, but Frankie didn't just totally ruin her image of him so he's wriggling away and complaining that he's too old to get kisses from his mom.

But Joe stands up and hugs her once more, kisses her cheek and tells his little brother, there’s no such thing.

****

As soon as Joe feels he can sneak away, he calls Demi. "Hey, are you home?"

"Yeah," she says.

"I'm coming over," he tells her, trying to find his shoes. "Be there in ten."

When he turns around, Nick's standing in the doorway with exactly the pair Joe was looking for. "Did you get caught?"

"Not by Dad."

"Mom?"

"Yeah, she saw Demi and me on the couch together."

"And the champagne?"

"Look, I'm not proud of it. Can I have the shoes, please?" He’s beyond exasperated.

"Yeah, you can have the shoes," Nick says, tossing them at him. "Good luck." Joe appreciates that he doesn’t say that last part like he needs it.

****

He hasn't even put the car in park when Demi's running out the front door with no shoes on, and the same clothes as last night. She flings herself into his arms once he's out of the driver's seat and she's hysterically crying and repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again.

"Whoa, what are you sorry about? I'm the one that messed up," he says, squeezing her tighter because it seems like the thing to do at the moment.

She takes a shuddery breath and doesn't let go. "Your mother hates me and thinks I'm a whore and I'm so sorry that happened. Are you in trouble? I'd hate for you to be in trouble. Oh God, I can't believe I was so stupid."

"You're not stupid, and you're not a whore, and I'm sure my mother doesn't hate you. It's okay. I promise. It's all going to be okay."

"You don't know that," Demi sniffles.

"Come on, like I'd promise something I couldn't deliver on."

"I seem to remember getting an e-mail months ago that you were promising to buy me a pony if I helped you pick a new hairstyle."

"Your pony happens to be on backorder." He rubs her back and she laughs a little bit. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm the one that's sorry. About the pony more than anything." She wipes her eyes on the back of her hand and gives him a watery smile. "I think we should start today over," he tells her. "We're going out for breakfast. And because I'm now a big boy, I'm getting a big chocolate milk."

"Can I please change first?"

"Um...I'm going to have to insist on it. You kind of look like a hot mess."

She laughs for real and drags him inside and wants to know if his hair looks like that on purpose or accident.

****

Her birthday this year is small, partially because she has a concert to do in Vegas the following weekend and partially because she wants it that way. He takes her out to dinner with Nick and Miley and Selena and David and they order a ridiculous amount of food, and take stupid pictures to post on Twitter. Everyone is laughing, and Selena's wearing David's hat while Miley draws a design on Demi's sneakers and Joe loves everyone in the room. 

Selena and Miley are the ones that wanted to do the cake, which winds up being one of those he remembers all the girls having when they were kids, of the Barbie Doll with the giant cake dress. Except the Barbie in question is Mitchie and it's among the funniest things he's ever seen. They cut her skirt up, and Joe feeds her some of the icing off his finger and loves the pop her lips make when they leave the tip. 

He's so happy that now Demi's 18 so no one has to imply that he's a pedophile. Somehow nothing official has gotten out that they're together, he has no idea how, but guesses that with all the speculation that's been going on since they filmed the first movie, it's not that shocking that they'll be out together doing things. But now there’s nothing stopping them from leaking something. If they choose to.

When they leave the restaurant, he's tempted to hold her hand and start planting the seeds, but by the time her and the girls finish hugging goodbye, it would mostly look awkward. They both get into his car though and he knows that Ocean Up is going to have a story from a "source" that they were groping before pulling away, false though that would be.

He takes the long way back to her house because he never wants to have to stop being with her if he can help it. And the nicest part of this whole thing is that he doesn't have to feel like a freak about it anymore. Still though, they eventually make it to her house anyway, and he knows he's going to have to say goodbye. "Did you have a nice time tonight?"

"I had a fabulous time."

"Well, it's not over yet," Joe says, pulling a card out of the glove compartment. He gave her the gift portion in the restaurant with everyone else, a collection of silver bracelets he saw her eyeing when he tagged along to help her and Danielle pick bridesmaids presents, but he wanted to do this piece in private. Joe bought her one of the cards that says "Happy Birthday to the Best Girlfriend" and doesn't know if it's a cop out to use that title for the first time in a card, but from the way she starts tearing up, that happy kind of tearing up that he loves when girls do, he thinks it's probably okay.

"I'm your girlfriend?"

"Of course you're my girlfriend. What else would you be?"

"I don't know. A girl you hook up with?"

It hits him right in the stomach, and it honestly hurts a little bit. "Did I do something to make you think that?"

"No, no! I just...I don't know. I've liked you for so long without being with you, that it's weird to think you felt the same way." And he knows what she means, because there are moments when he sometimes feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Demi..." he starts, not really knowing where he's going next, and when she looks at him, there's so many thoughts in his head. The way it feels to hold her when she was sad, and her laugh when they watch movies and the smile she gives him when he's being ridiculous but she's enjoying it anyway. Her hair after she's taken a nap, or her cheeks after she's washed her face, or the glow she gets all over after they've made out for almost an hour. "I think I fell in love with you a year ago," he finishes, and he's never used that word about how he feels for her before. Not even in his own head, but it seems like the only thing he could have said in this moment.

The car seems silent, after that, and he's sure that she's just trying to process it, because honestly, he's doing the same. But then she unbuckles her seatbelt and climbs into his lap, tight against him between the steering wheel. "Do you mean it?" she says low and quiet.

"I mean it." And then she kisses him, all tongue and happiness and Joe feels so light, even with her sitting on top of him.

****

It'll be another four months until he realizes that just being with her, that's the thing that makes him feel normal. And once that becomes clear, well, he can hire her a day of pony rides, because at that point, who cares if it looks out of the ordinary? 


End file.
